Total Meltdown Full Stop

[lymphomamama]

Threw an insane online crazy last night after it started. I read it a few minutes ago and tried to go work something out with the family ( known the 35+ years) & it got worse and those friends are gone. I wish they understood but they think a rape victim should / could have done more and should get over it. I want to . I just can't seem to. I'm a devout pagan & Have done every healing ritual, went to native sweatlodge, am in therapy. I can't f*ckin get past it. It dominates my night hours it keeps me locked inside day hours. I'm sort I'm going on. That's all for your sake :D

 

[lymphomamama]

Eve, you may be able to imagine how great it is just to talk to you. Thanx

Yeah I know the steady meds would help I'm just not sure effector is helping any more. Do they stop after a while? I started the 27. 2x after a while had to go to 75x2 & now it's getting hard again.

 

[EveHarrington]

Yes, meds can stop working over time. It's not uncommon. I'm just concerned that you're so symptomatic but on many meds.

As for your friends------you were 5 when the first trauma happened, right? It's not something you ever fully get over. Trauma at a young age changes you forever. (I hate it when people just don't understand. It feels so isolating. But the good thing is that you can find people here who understand.)

I hope you keep posting!

:hug:

 

[loner mcdonald]

sick and tired of you should just get over it. big tough biker has turned into a pussy. thats my so-called wife telling me this bull shit. people dont understand what other people are going thru. f*ck all the bull shit. sorry just sounding off. god bless you all. loner

 

[Gs172003]

sick and tired of you should just get over it. big tough biker has turned into a pussy. thats my...

Loner why don't you start a new thread so we can understand?

 

[Freedomfighter]

Have been in full meltdown for over 24 hrs. Raging, crying, vicious verbal attacks on people, no sle...

Hope your pain eases, there is nothing worse than to be betrayed by someone you trusted. I know what that betrayal means. For years and years I did not realize that the trust that I had in people was thrown into the dirt. I trusted to be helped after some criminal came after me. But all I got was people who befriended my attacker, who instead of helping me sided with the criminal and even attempted to act out scenarios that would hurt me even more. All the people I asked for help harassed me instead and Iam still learning about all the terrible things they did. How can someone that a victim entrusts their life to instead begin to harass the victim and even act like the original predator because he knows that hurts the victim even more?

It doesnt make me mad, just incredibly sad, and then for such a person to also spread lies about me, just like the original predator did.
I can not believe that someone would do that to a victim that is in need of help.

 

[lymphomamama]

Hope your pain eases, there is nothing worse than to be betrayed by someone you trusted. I know...

I loved them more than my own screwed up family. I guess it's a lesson that people don't feel for you as you do for them

@Freedomfighter, sounds like really awful people in your life. How does one even come up with the idea to increase your pain by immigrating the event? Sick damn minds.

sick and tired of you should just get over it. big tough biker has turned into a pussy. thats my...

I hope you find better understanding than your wife. My husband is an MC member and I understand the stigma attached to even having feelings, much less pain. Glad you're here. Start a diary, it's been cathartic for me.