Touch / Physical Holding

[Springer80]

It explains something I've often felt but could never explain - the need to be closer to someone - in the person's 'space' but without any physical contact - which made me feel like a loon.

Exactly and for those on here that express fear about physical touch it directly deals with the fact that trust and physicality are interlocked, with physical touch being at the top of the pyramid but there are numerous sub divisions before hand which can and need to be reinstated. Most people don't acknowledge them.

 

[Pencil]

Springer, check this out!

[DLMURL]http://arrow.uws.edu.au:8080/vital/access/manager/Repository/uws:334?query=michelle+webster+&y=14&x=54[/DLMURL]

 

[Springer80]

I just hope the psych community pays attention.

One can have physical contact while being completely absent (ask any prostitute).

Being in someone's space lets you feel their presence acutely, and allowing someone in your space and being present can be very intense.

I love Andrew Cook. I love you for posting it. May I kiss the air around your feet?

Forgive me for gushing.

Hi Pencil,

I hope the profession take notice too and with neuro-imaging coming along nicely I wonder is in conjunction with fmri scanners it might prove the benefit scientifically. Although it makes for a funny image cos those scanners are pretty tight for space so you'd have to get VERY cosy with your T!! :D (good programme on frmi scanning and people in apparently vegetative states on BBC1 this evening)

As for physical contact and absenteeism Ive been quite good at that, I was more scared of the emotional intimacy that went with progressively and naturally getting to know someone, so I'd get round that by jumping straight in at the deep end.

Having someone be near me and being honest how I need to....well I haven't managed that yet. A few attempts haven't been good but I was trying with the wrong sort of person.

I love Andrew Cook too :p and after years of struggling getting the right help its lovely to be able to share the things that do with others! SO your dead welcome...no need to kiss the feet air!

 

[Springer80]

Springer, check this out!

[DLMURL="http://arrow.uws.edu.au:8080/vital/access/manager/Repository/uws:334?query=michelle+webster+&y=14&x=54"]http://arrow.uws.edu.au:8080/vital/access/manager/Repository/uws:334?query=michelle webster &y=14&x=54[/DLMURL]

Will do, I had a quick look at her from when you posted it earlier. I also have a paper on how touch programs your nervous system and how pre and post natal trauma effects it development. It's a biggy too though!

 

[Pencil]

Hi Pencil,

it makes for a funny image cos those scanners are pretty tight for space so you'd have to get VERY cosy with your T!!

:roflmao:

 

[Mrs. Martinez]

I have issues with therapist, not a trusting person. However I went through therapy with a pastor, and he was extremely physical nothing out of line, but he was so peaceful, turned you into a child. He also did my martial counseling and my husband says the same thing. I think it can be good for certain people but so many get mixed emotions expressly with therapist. If it would have been any other councilor I don't think it would have been comfortable.

 

[Pencil]

. I also have a paper on how touch programs your nervous system and how pre and post natal trauma effects it development. It's a biggy too though!

Could you give me the reference?

I can't tell you how excited and relieved and grateful I am to find someone who gets this. This is a HUGE issue in my life and something I have never been able to talk about. It is not about hugs or sex. It has everything to do with my 'wiring' that is a mess, and needing someone to help me sort that out, slowly, carefully, over a long period of time, starting with proximity - 'at the edge'. If I can't avoid a hug, I zone out completely, so I completely get what you mean about jumping in the deep end. A therapist who doesn't get what's going on with my wiring and tries to hug me will surely get punched.

 

[Pencil]

I think it can be good for certain people but so many get mixed emotions expressly with therapist.

Exactly, and that is why I think therapists who dole out hugs at the end of sessions skate on very thin ice, if not on water. Therapists who WORK with touch see hugs at the end of sessions as 'social touch' and refuse to do it. Some people have issues with physical touch and others don't. Not every therapist can do it. Judging from this thread, very few people have this particular issue with touch.

 

[Springer80]

he was extremely physical nothing out of line, but he was so peaceful, turned you into a child.

I'm glad for you that you found that. I think in traumatized people there is a reservoir of unresolved physical pain that can't just be removed in one fell swop. It has to be released like a geyser.

I think being reduced to that child state is such a gift if you experience it well.

 

[Springer80]

Hi Pencil, Here you go....for others this is a document on pre and post natal effects of stress on our ability to regulate our own nervous system. Only 29 pages, so shorter than I thought!!;)

Dead Link Removed

 

[Pencil]

I think being reduced to that child state is such a gift if you experience it well.

YES! And the child state is where the trauma, the need and the healing are located. And this is why therapists who work with this are not confused about boundaries and adult sexuality. Of course there are idiot and exploitative therapists around, who do a lot of damage, but they are not specialists in this field.

 

[Pencil]

Hi Pencil, Here you go

Thanks Springer!