Touch / Physical Holding

[squidge]

I'm sorry Noah that your T has done that to you. Have you talked about how important/healing that human touch can be in the therapeutic setting? Keep bringing it up. I know of another survivor who spent a year trying to convince her T how important that touch can be for healing. He use to have a strict no touching boundary in their sessions. She was persistent and finally convinced him how important that it was to her healing. Now he has no issues with giving a supportive hug or a gentle touch during those rough times in sessions.

 

[Pencil]

Noah, here's a big hug for you

((((((((((((((((((((Noah!!))))))))))))))))))

 

[Autumncolors]

Thanks Pencil, I reported the therapist to the department of public health earlier this year. After the investigation the therapist surrendered her license. I also have a malpractice case against the therapist. I'm hoping with the money I will be able to get proper treatment and repair all the damage that was done. Whoever you end up with make sure they are qualified. The therapist I was with pretended she knew how to treat PTSD and dissociation for 6 years. I got worse and worse. After getting away from this therapist I discovered that there were therapist that specialized in trauma and trained in trauma therapy.

 

[Autumncolors]

kuru_kiwi,
I think you are right there is nothing wrong with a supportive hug or a gentle touch during sessions. In my case the physical contact started out the way you described. Then it became non therapeutic when the therapist began seeking gratification for self, while pretending to comfort me with supportive hugs and touches.

It probally works fine, as long as the therapist boundaries are clear and the therapist is self reflective and not experiencing any countertransference with touch.

 

[Springer80]

Hi All & Pencil,

I'm loving his thread...in fact it's something I've been circling around for a while. I've done regular massage, seen chiropractors and most recently did sensori-motor body psychotherapy (which basically involves describing the emotional suppression in your body in a creative way). The last traditional therapist I saw suggested that I should be held by a male therapist.

Somehow we have come to believe that 'boundaries' necessarily exclude physical contact - and I wonder how that perception was created and why.

Could it be that as health was defined as a medical science and divided into physical and mental that it excluded anything which wasn't academic or intellectual. It is only now that we can 'prove' the benefit that its allowed to be viable. I also think that gender politics probably played a part in it too i,e. it's a soft science, and it shows parenting/nurturing (a traditionally female role) to be responsible for a lot of factors.

Each and every relationship in the world is boundaried - and yet we only ever refer to the therapeutic relationship as one with boundaries

Exactly, except that for most people navigating those boundaries is something they are familiarized with (hopefully positively) over time and in such and incremental way as they grow up that the fact that they are wielding that skill on a daily basis is so embedded it becomes invisible.

I wouldn't feel comfortable hugging mine either. I just think it is a bit too 'informal' or just...going beyond the boundaries of a proper therapeutic working relationship

I think that I wouldn't want to have a 'regular' therapeutic relationship and then (even if its with discussion) throw some touch therapy into the mix and then go back again. If I could go to someone to do that and then see someone else to talk about it or the same therapist and keep the session formats separate.

But I want to learn to be able to be touched, and the only person I trust enough would be my T. But I'd never ask and it would be way too awkward.

Hi Smushroom, I would like it ideally if someone I knew in my life (fantasy) that I trusted that much to see me that vulnerable existed. However, in reality :rolleyes::cautious: even if there was someone, if they saw me like that I think it might add a dimension of knowledge to that relationship which I then couldn't handle them knowing. So perhaps a therapist would be better. Either way it's the asking bit that's the stickler.

I am now constantly craving human companionship, human touch, but know I would fall to pieces if someone tried to touch me.

And that's why you should do it because you need to fall to pieces to pick yourself up for the better after wards. Physical contact is what allows and fixes that. For me the fantasy of receiving that is like slipping into a warm bath and I'd be so scared of being thrown out again.

Absolutely I think it should be incorporated, and I'm unsure as to all the 'hoo-ha' around a healing therapeutic touch with a clients permission to be honest.

CHECK OUT THIS GUY!!!!!
Dead Link Removed

This is about the body as a receiver of boundaries and how to rebuild those parameters after they have been violated.

Hi Jaret, it is about more than receiving a hug - it has to do with healing of very deep damage with physical contact

It feels like a massive release of pressure....like you day it's not just a hug. I wonder how the circumstances would need to be different to access that underground pocket of trauma.

 

[Pencil]

.

I wish you had broken this up into different posts as I want to like each statement separately!!

 

[Pencil]

Springer - thanks for the link. I want to read (all 91 pages of it!) properly and then get carried away. It explains something I've often felt but could never explain - the need to be closer to someone - in the person's 'space' but without any physical contact - which made me feel like a loon.

 

[Pencil]

I reported the therapist to the department of public health earlier this year. After the investigation the therapist surrendered her license. I also have a malpractice case against the therapist.

I would have liked to have quoted your whole post, as every single statement is shocking! I am REALLY SO sorry you had to go through that ((((((((((((Autumn))))))))))))))

 

[Springer80]

Hey Pencil,

Let me know if you get chance, of what you think to the link I posted. It's 91 pages and I haven't read it all, my brain is fried at the mo but even the summary at the front is mind blowing. It's about non contact body work. It sounds like a nuts statement, non contact body work, but our personal space is bigger than out physical volume.

 

[Rumors]

I seriously don't want anyone I am paying to be hugging on me. Personal preference I guess. I like my "business" relationship with my T. It would most likely send me into a coma anyway. I personally reserve hugs for my son!!

Best wishes to all on either side. Sending those who accept a cyber hug!

 

[Pencil]

but even the summary at the front is mind blowing.

Springer - Andrew Cook's is another pair of feet I want to kiss. People like him do such valuable work, and I just hope the psych community pays attention.

I've often felt that being in someone's space is far more intimate and intense than physical contact with the person. One can have physical contact while being completely absent (ask any prostitute). Being in someone's space lets you feel their presence acutely, and allowing someone in your space and being present can be very intense. AND I think it is about as much as I can handle at present. I love Andrew Cook. I love you for posting it. May I kiss the air around your feet?

I want to reply to all your statements above - just give me time :) Forgive me for gushing.

 

[Pencil]

Sending those who accept a cyber hug!

Thanks for the hug Rumors!