Relationship Touchy Topics

[Lilmssunshine]

When my sufferer and I talk about subjects that are really emotional for him he hangs up the phone. I remember one time he was telling me he wish he could feel in love everyday. I guess referring to emotional numbness. He hung up the phone after he said that. This was a convo from a while back. I just sent him a text telling him I can relate to some of his problems. He called the next day and sounded happy on the phone. I think he felt good that I understood. I avoid touchy convos with him. I keep it lighthearted, fun and try to be happy. I guess that's why he keeps coming back to me after he isolates.

My question is how does he know he loves me if he can't feel it? He does say he loves me. But how does he know? There have been times when he hasn't been loving or he couldn't tell he loved me. But still said he has always loved me.

 

[Lilmssunshine]

How do I edit my posts? I found a type o. And mispelled words.

 

[Friday]

My question is how does he know he loves me if he can't feel it?

How do you know you love cheesecake, or a perfectly grilled steak, or a cold beer on a hot summer day... when you have the stomach flu and even the thought of food makes you puke?

 

[Lilmssunshine]

In other words? I'm not sure what that means either....

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Intellectualize feelings.

 

[Fadeaway]

@FridayJones said it perfectly in IMO but I will take a shot at another angle.

I have known 2 men at different times of my life said love isn't something you feel, it is something you do. I tried to argue the point with them but they just couldn't grasp that I felt love as an emotional sensation. I think men may feel love differently than women. I have heard that they do, but I can't confirm for obvious reasons.

I would also like to focus on the fact that you say he said he wishes he could feel "In Love." I think it is important to make the distinction on whether he was referring to the chemical high and flood of hormones someone gets when the "fall in love," or is he talking about real love? People can and do become addicted to the feeling of being "in love." It feels good, real love doesn't always feel good and isn't always as exciting but it is more powerful.