Trapped In Corner

[Little Flower]

I'm even getting the seeing machine fixed up and ready to patch holes for my bro's work pants. Something I've been promising him for 2 months. First time the needle broke I walked away. Today I'm walking back. I'll never be a professional seamstress if I let a broken needle stop me

 

[Little Flower]

I read "my disgust at PTSD course follow up". It gave me some insight to the founding and work of this website. I'm thankful for what has been accomplished and impressed at such an undertaking.
I'm trying to figure out my personal demons. I have a lot I'd empathy for other sufferers. I have determination to find positive things in my life.
The negative things. The negative people will get along fine without me. I am choosing at this very moment a good choice. Not to react the way others want me to react. With hate or name calling or even stooping to humiliation. I feel if someone wants to humiliate me the don't have to stoop very low, they're already down there. Turn the other cheek doesn't apply either lest I get slapped twice. I think good old southern graciousness , something you can't just acquire, applies. No one can't take that away from me.
Back to work now. I have a life to build

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

think good old southern graciousness , something you can't just acquire, applies. No one can't take that away from me.

It might be a good thing to exercise.

 

[Little Flower]

I agree. I wish I was better at it. I shocked myself at my angry vengeful spiteful attitude. I just learned that I can't control other people's actions. I'm working on I can only control the way I react. I'm a responsible adult now. I'm not going to make excuses today. I'm old enough to know better. "Now that I know better, I do better" - m. angelo.
With her support, sheer willpower and some common sense I believe I'll make it through this current bump in the road. I live - I learn

 

[Little Flower]

I sulked around here all morning trying to make myself useful. I was really afraid my bf would stop by and see me looking horrible. I asked him not to stop by. Told him I was processing this new info about my parents and he was not only sympathetic he said it would do us both good to stay busy If I try the smallest bit, he tells me I'm doing great. I want my very inner self to trust him. Trust myself. But my guard is strong and built up over many years of finding out people you know and love can hurt you the most. How can I start to open up a bit. I know getting hurt is part of life.
I just can't trust myself because many times that was tragic. Does this make any sense at all?