Hi. I'm working on this topic now. It has taken me a long time to get to this point. For me it's very complex and I believe I have found some answers for myself. I just firstly wanted to acknowledge your post since I'm dealing with it.How do you "break" trauma bonds? I am looking for any and all bonds. Romantic, friend, relatives... And what do you do to heal from them once severed?
I have been doing this with my T but mostly by myself. The big question "why"...I have been asking this my entire life. Now I seem to be making some progress.I've had to look at the bond, what is healthy what is unhealthy. Then the deep, deep dive of "why" am I bonded and what beliefs and emotions mechanisms are operating to keep it in place.
I have never heard of this but will check it out. Thank you for the suggestion.One modality that really helps get to this stuff quickly is Internal Family Systems (IFS)
This has been huge for me. I felt like all of me was ugly, bad. I am now able to differentiate between what I like about myself and what I don't (okay still working on it) - not in relation to anyone else but to myself - and I am learning to like all the parts of me, even the not so good. I think this is why I am finally able to admit and acknowledge my trauma bonds.Once I became welcoming and accepting of all of me and my parts that I hated and thought were ugly, it became easier to see the current trauma bonds in place.
I find it very hard to break them. And that is what I think I will have to do - a mental "break" of the chain that holds me to them. I will not be able to just "let it go". I will need to beat and cut and saw and just utterly destroy them in my mind for them to be gone forever (if forever is even possible with trauma bonds).I'm now at the place of breaking them, but it's not as easy as one would think because certain parts are attached to the people I need released from, each for certain reasons.
I am so happy for you! This is a wonderful accomplishment. I am not sure if I have actually severed the ties but I know they are not as strong. I cannot help but think about them but it is much less. I do not worry about what they might think as much. I am very curious as to how you will feel and what the experience will encompass once the ties have been severed. Thank you so much for your response. I am also curious as to the information you have read. I am a researcher by nature and would love to read some of the texts you utilized to arrive at your conclusion (which seems very well informed).So far its working well for me. I will update after I get through the actual severing of the soul ties. This is HUGE for me.