I couldn't answer this properly last night, NH, I was wayyy too rattled myself, so knew I'd make hash of it. I still am not focused well enough to probably be helpful, but you know your own tolerance well by now. You tricked yourself by hiding that paper in your car, to sort of jolly yourself that far. Just something that worked for that moment, and part of one little thing at a time, breaking it down into pieces, as Deb said.
I really am thinking of you.