Trauma Clinic Assessment

[KP the nut]

(((NH))) I'm so pleased for you. It is great you feel at ease with him, it is so important.

You are right it won't be easy, you will be eahausted but he will give you the techniques to help you cope.

We are with you.

Remember to reward and pamper yourself, this is a major step not a baby one.

You did great

Love
KP

 

[intothelight]

NH,

How wonderful it went so well for you. You are very brave to be taking this journey and I am so proud of you. It is so wonderful to see a friend getting better.

(((hugs)))
Deb

 

[Deleted member 6617]

NH,

Wow....fantastic news! So proud of you and very happy for you. Can't wait to hear your progress. You are showing so much courage. Keep sending those prayers and positive thoughts your way!

Hugs, PH

 

[Nighthawk]

Don't ask. Way way harder than I can talk about

 

[intothelight]

(((((NH)))))

 

[Nighthawk]

Why does it feel as though I was being personally attacked yesterday. I wonder if he is just going to fast or if this is what is needed to open the wounds. I don't even want to go back to face him or me. I know this was not his intention or maybe it was. I am just feeling in over my head. He wants to do more tests meaning in his eyes there is more wrong with me.

Don't really know what to do to make this feel better.

NH

 

[anni]

Is it possible for you to tell him this, NH? Some amount of feeling awful is inevitable but it sounds like you're pretty shredded and confused. You could bring this up with him and ask if it's his intent, as you said. You've had a dreadful week or so with other things also. If he's unaware of this maybe isn't taking that into consideration, either, that there's been this huge upset that knocked you sideways. Perhaps knowing that would change his game plan for you at the moment, that's all. I do know if I tell mine some dreadful thing has gone on, we tend to spend time just on tools and maintenance, not progress necessarily.

Do take care, ok?

 

[Nighthawk]

I am doing my best to take care I am just feeling wounded in every way. I feel stuck not knowing if I can really cope with this or if I am just doing too much. Ok I ll be quiet and try feel like I am working on improving my situation.

NH

 

[BloomInWinter]

I am doing my best to take care I am just feeling wounded in every way. I feel stuck not knowing if I can really cope with this or if I am just doing too much. Ok I ll be quiet and try feel like I am working on improving my situation. NH

Keep bringing it up...it's good to get that out.

The counselors in the US have to go through a TON of 'checklists' to be able to even get the next appointments paid for...and of course the questioning felt like interrogation to me. Not that I had the courage to TELL him that at the time, I just put up with it because I needed the help. Now, though...after 9 months of therapy, I think I could muster the courage to say something.

Keep on talking it out. If he ends up being a poor T., you'll find out soon enough. Hope you can tell him how you feel and test his compassion & professionalism. If he's a jerk, you'll know it. If he's not...you'll have made great strides in forging a helping therapeutic relationship. Not that I had the courage to do that before, heh. :>

Do what you need to do for yourself. We're listening. I'm here. I believe in you.

It will get better for you, whether or not this is the T. for you.

((((((((Nighthawlk)))))))))))

 

[Nighthawk]

BIW,I have written over 2 pages and a letter to the new T. When I read them. back to myself I wonder if I was having an anxiety attack. He pointed out the whole disassociation thing to me and I had no clue how much I do it. I feel I guess that is the biggest Statement He made me feel, wether that was good or bad or ugly felt like I was a victim and now I need to show him the result the emotions are there just detached. I don.t really show them.

Am I making any sense at all

NH

 

[seedling]

NH -
hang in there. Glad you wrote things down. This is a great strength that you have for dealing with things.

I can relate to the wounded feeling. I have felt this in the past with my T and it was not because of anything he did to me. Therapy brings up such terrible things. I get very defensive with him over the smallest things.

I dissociated in therapy this week and today I cried about the emotion I was blocking then. It surfaced in a quiet moment. Weird. If your T talked about you dissociating then maybe you could be facing the real emotions of it now, afterwards.

Share with him all you can. He needs to get to know you. I find that I can remind myself of times that my T has really been kind to me. I use these reminders to get out of the hole I'm in when the paranoia, etc. comes up.

Testing may be necessary for him to get to know you better also. It may show him the "lay of the land."

You probably can assume that you were having an anxiety attack. I have one every visit it seems, afterwards. It makes things hard to think through.

Keep an eye open for the things that he does that show he's thinking of your best welfare. You had positive things to say about him last week. Think those through again. It's all so hard sometimes with therapy, we are talking of things we'd rather never have to.

Take care.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear NH, I think seedling and the others are right.

I am personally only starting to be aware of just how 'badly' (and I don't mean it's 'bad', just not in your best long-term interests of healing) that I and my body reacts to doing or saying what is so difficult and foreign to me. Yes, if not a panic attack also an emotional flashback, certainly if nothing else (and you're like me) it's very confusing and hard to be kind to yourself, to not regret saying things and to 'hate' yourself for doing so, and to be able to recognize trying to get better as a positive step (because it makes you feel so lousy!) But trying is real progress, and that's all you have to do. Please persevere.
((((NH))))