Trauma clinic with social anxiety. Your experience?

[Calmdown]

Therapists told me to attend a clinic for trauma therapy. I have social anxiety and I have had some bad experiences with group settings and clinics and I don't think any therapist will ever take me serious with this issue. They might think it is negative thinking or whatever but in the end it is experienced-based. I had selective mutism in childhood, an inner blockade made it impossible for me to talk when the teacher asked me something in front of the class. But not only that I also had inner blockades regarding physical education, so not just talking but also doing something. I don't want to get more into detail as it is a different topic, just to clarify I simply can't ignore these inner blockades, it is impossible. At one stay in a clinic when I was like 20 years old they send me home weeks earlier to make a point, the idea was that I should feel the consequences of my actions (being unable to go over my inner blockades). I could go on but the point I want to make is that there are certain therapies I can't actively partake in, for example if there are role playing parts or if there is anything movement related like yoga or whatever. My experience is that therapists hate it. Usually you should feel cared for in a clinic, this is one of the reasons why it can be so helpful but for me it is just another fight. I'm experiencing what I suffered through nearly all of my childhood again in a clinic that is supposed to help me. If it is a big group it can even be too much for me to sit there, like a meeting of the entire clinic ward. I made one good experience: A trauma therapist said I don't have to sit in there and can go out whenever I want and that this would be important for me (however even that can be too much at times because if you go out you are in the middle of the attention, at least it feels like it).

How do you deal with social anxiety if you need a clinic stay? And what are your experiences?

 

[Starfish]

situations like yours that involve other persons weather one or more , that traumatize me, I respect my feelings and leave or do not go back. I listen to my body. I'm learning to go into acceptance instead of re-traumatizing myself. I have a high level of fear always so I experience the fear on a decreased level. that is what is working for me. best wishes!

 

[Sideways]

How do you deal with social anxiety if you need a clinic stay? And what are your experiences?

Do you have the ability to call the unit in advance and talk to someone about your concerns and the best way to manage them?

 

[Charbella]

Do you have the ability to call the unit in advance and talk to someone about your concerns and the best way to manage them?

Another thought is calling the unit to see what to expect. I notice when I’m amped up about something if I can get someone to walk me through what to expect I tend to settle down. That even applies to if things don’t go as expected once I get there. I’ve calmed myself enough to be able to handle curve balls.

 

[Calmdown]

Yes, I always do that but it is complicated. There is only one clinic that comes in question and there is other stuff I have to discuss with them, if there are too many things that are complicated or unclear they might say I should not come. Usually people say that therapists will understand etc. etc. but that is not my experience. And if they don't understand it is not the right clinic, right but it also depends on who I talk to and what the circumstances are. If this clinic is not the right one I have no options.
With social anxiety there are many misunderstandings and misconceptions, especially for me as selective mutism seems to be rare and my social anxiety has its roots in selective mutism.

The usual responses are:
1. Insurance will not pay for it
2. It isn't that bad, everyone is friendly
3. You should at least try to do it
4. We discuss it when you are there
5. Clinic setting might be wrong for you
6. Clinic setting is right for you and we will work on your social anxiety

It doesn't matter if the people are friendly, it doesn't matter if it is a clinic, I just can't do certain things in group settings, there is no safe space. "Trying" is impossible and only leads to suffering. They really need to accept that I can't do certain things but especially CBT therapists have big issues with that. This drags me down so much, because in a way I am too crazy to get treatment but at the same time it could be so easy. Just let me be and there would be no issues. I only experienced that one time in my life but it helped immensely.

I understand that it is a difficult to understand problem and I just was interested in how things turned out for other affected people, maybe I can discuss it with the clinic in a better way then.

 

[Sideways]

I just can't do certain things in group settings, there is no safe space.

Would it surprise you that a lot of people feel this way before an inpatient stay?

Maybe an IOP program would be a better first step for now?

 

[Calmdown]

I think the closest to what you call an IOP program is a "day clinic" here, psychiatric outpatient clinics where you stay from 8am to 4pm. I wanted to try it some months ago but after the phone conversation it was clear that it would be wrong. No trauma therapy, mostly group setting, large groups, "Insurance would not pay for it" if I don't take part in some groups etc. the doctor said himself it might not be the right thing for me.
I know how they typically react and I just hope that the trauma clinic I found is different. But I also need to get out of panic mode and come to terms with the fact that a clinic stay probably won't be right for me.

 

[Friday]

How do you deal with social anxiety if you need a clinic stay? And what are your experiences?

Generally? I leave the country & change my name.

Just being honest.

As that’s not the “right” thing to do… but it is what I HAVE done. A couple/few times.

 

[Calmdown]

Update with my experience.
I felt like crap when I arrived. Just two days before I arrived I experienced something extremly stressful, so I was mentally and physically exhausted and could not even say how I feel.
I didn't manage to take part in group settings the first day. After the weekend on monday was the first "Ward round" (or how do you call it in english). The leading therapist told me straight that she sends me home if I don't attend the next two groups. She didn't want to talk about my self-worth issue, about medication or whatever. They expected me to justify myself. It was like a workplace meeting, "deliver or leave".

I understand that you can't stay there if you don't attend the groups, but the way they were handling it was abysmal.

After that meeting I knew even if I manage to do it, which was possible because I was making progress, a stay would not make sense because I could not trust that leading therapist and she could always overrule my personal therapist there. I really liked the personal therapist and she was more understanding, so it really is a pity.
The next day after the ward round I left, just 5 days after arrival. There wasn't even a final meeting with my personal therapist, 5-10 mintues would have been fine.

I would not risk it again. I try to see the few positive things, like the contact with other patients and my progress regarding openness but in the end you are at the mercy of if the leading therapist is any good.

 

[parrotthepolly]

Was this clinic with a different therapist than mentioned in your diary? I mean the one that's 1h 45min by train, you didn't see her?

 

[Calmdown]

The therapist I mentioned in the diary was a senior therapist of a clinic I stayed in 10 years ago, she practically is an expert on trauma, she runs her own therapy practice now.

Sadly this time it wasn't possible to go there so I found another clinic like 5 hours away. This new clinic I was in just works symptom-focused and the area outside the clinic didn’t feel safe. There are residential complexes nearby for forensic aftercare, and the clinic treats also addiction, schizophrenia, and other serious conditions. Some patients have been approached by others at the entrance in ways that felt intrusive. I personally experienced a situation outside where someone called after me in a way that made me feel I needed to be cautious. Because of that, even going for a walk outside didn’t feel like a safe or relaxing option.