Traumatic experience at the doctor's office so very afraid of them

[Stephhhh]

I had a very traumatic event when trying to get a physical exam (it never happened).....The female doctor was very rude. I am a rape victim and never had been able to get women procedures (pap smear, pelvic exam)... I tried with this individual but she laughed that my fiance came inside with me to help me ease my anxiety... She told me that she doesnt know what the fuss is when the thing they put inside is smaller than his male anatomy... She also said that if I cannot handle a simple procedure that how would I handle child labor. I Left the room anxious and very upset. Recently, I seeked support and taking therapy to cope with this because one day I want to be a mother. My husband is very supportive but I feel like my life is on hold.... I want to start a family but those doctor's words are still stuck with me... I am diagnosed with ptsd because of that experience. I recently met my primary doctor and he is very understanding and told me there is no pressure and to go in when I am ready. However, I want to feel like I'm strong again and wanting to get it... My therapist suggested to take a relaxant before the procedure.. I want to find someone in my shoes and know whether it worked. Before I would feel like knives are cutting but thats because I was terrified and upset.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think it's important to realize that your PTSD comes from the rape, not the bad doctors exam. The exam was a trigger for past trauma.

 

[Stephhhh]

Yes but also from the last experience I had at the doctors... Fortunately I'm on the path of healing

 

[Suzetig]

Your doctor experience sounds terrible but I couldn't have given you PTSD - it might have triggered off symptoms in you but it isn't the root cause.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I agree with the above responses.... You have PTSD from the RAPE, not the doctor visit. What the dr said upset you, triggered you, but it didn’t cause the PTSD. If you and your therapist really dig deep you might find out why the visit and possibly what the dr said triggered you so badly. I suspect that something from the rape and dr visit were similar... Either words, actions, sounds, smells??? Something triggered it.

 

[Stephhhh]

Thanks... we are still trying to dig into that because idk I don't recall anything in my childhood...

 

[Suzetig]

You said you were a rape victim, rape is certainly enough to cause PTSD. PTSD isn't necessarily caused by something in childhood - in the vast majority of cases it's not childhood related at all.

 

[bento]

@Stephhhh The way you were treated was unfortunately unprofessional and rude. I'm so
sorry you had to go through that. A lot of people have someone come in with them to exams or procedures. And to treat a rape victims like that? Wow, mind blowingly disrespectful. Again,
I'm sorry you had to experience that.

I think any number of gyno exams/procedures could be triggering for a rape victim. It makes
total sense. The thing to remember about Drs is that they are service providers and you are
the client. With that kind of experience I would consider finding another practice or Dr.

I had a Dr. throw a weird fit before a procedure when I was pregnant because I was worried
about the heavy physical labor aspect of my job and I asked him about it a second time
after he brushed me off. I ended up in the hospital about a month later with pre-term labor.
The whole thing was pretty traumatic and I was by myself during the procedure.

The thing is....knowing what I know now, I would have hopped off the exam table, given a
polite variation of FU and found another Dr. I ended up doing that anyway after I got out
of the hospital and I moved over to a group of midwives (amazing group of women who
worked with the hospital if needed) who were the polar opposite of that weird rude traumatizing
experience.

The thing is with PTSD is that you can't always trust your intuition if you're feeling triggered.
I feel like for years I would either overreact or under react to things. That's why it's important
to seek out alternative opinions with professionals. Especially doctors. Think about it if
a plumber tried to fix your pipes and you ended up with flooding, you'd likely try another
plumber. Since the doctor/patient relationship must be founded on trust even more than
home repair--rudeness and unprofessionalism are even more of a no go.

There are many kind professional doctors out there who will be able to tolerate even welcome
your fiancé there as your support. Will be able to reassure you with your expressed anxiety.
Consider asking at your local women's shelter or rape crisis center for doctors that have
been recommended by other victims. I'm sure you're not alone with this type of anxiety.
Best of luck

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I had a very traumatic event when trying to get a physical exam (it never happened).....The female doc...

Honestly it does sounds stressful. Especially for a rape victim. But in general. I can't relax and trust a doctor if they are being patronizing and rude. I think people covered the root thing, but to comment on the exam itself, since you said you do want to complete it. I would try the relaxant...I never did anything like that, but I also took my partner with me...and also I was preparing for the exam for weeks.

I had at some point developped severe anxiety from any doctor visits and I have to say the only thing that eased some of it was that I had to undergo 2 rounds of 10 days physiotherapy daily, for which I just had to show up. Thankfully at the time I had private insurance and ended up in a place where the doctors where polite, careful, and apologizing if they were 5min late- it was such a relief to get such service, it helped ease my nerves from having to go there daily. They also offered coffee and tea while I wait and hot drinks soothe me(btw if it's the same with you I'd just bring travel mug with you when you go. or mp3 with music. keychain with something of meaning...fidgets...whatever can tackle some of your anxiety). BUT most of all, I would go to a different doctor for the visit, if an option-you want people that will help you, not stress you more. What you feel is valid.

Honestly I need to go to new person next time for my next GYNO exam and I am really nervous how I''ll handle it. Good luck! It will happen, just take care of yourself. PM or comment if you have more questions or need to vent.