Traveling

[whiteraven]

I have no idea where this belongs, so I'm gonna start with the general forum. Please move as appropriate.

I have two trips planned this year. One is next week--I'm driving about 4 1/2 hours away to attend a conference. The other is in October, when I'll be going about7 1/2 hours away for another conference (neither is work related).

I'm having incredibly ambivalent feelings about going. I have always loved to travel--and travel alone, mostly--and I have a sincere interest in both the conferences I signed up for and the areas of the country. I love the planning, and I like to drive. My last trip was about a year ago, and it was a good one. My ONLY reluctance to traveling is leaving my cats behind. A neighbor will be checking on them twice a day, though, and I have cameras.

This morning I woke with a LOT of pain. As I was thinking about what I needed to do to finish getting ready to leave, it occurred to me I'm probably going to have to take an actual suitcase rather than my standard overnight bag. I have one that rolls, so that will actually be much better, in that it won't aggravate my pain like the other one will. But...the idea of that--taking an actual suitcase--has me in knots.

Isn't that stupid? I mean, it'll keep the "good" clothes better, and I'll be able to fit everything I need to without cramming it into a smaller bag, not to mention it will be easier on my body. But just the idea of a *suitcase* makes me want to scream.

I can't figure out why. The only thing that comes to mind is maybe I don't feel like I *should* go? Or am deserving to go? Or it just makes it more real? I don't know. I do feel like I'm abandoning my cats, but I have things set up so that they will be taken care of.

Not sure what I need--maybe just to put it out there to see if anyone can relate. And maybe if anyone has any self-care tips for traveling with physical pain and the awful emotional discomfort that can come along with travel.

 

[Teasel]

Is it the first time travelling since getting cats? Or since having pain? Or is there something else that's new this time compared to travelling in the past?

Distraction with something I'm really interested eg podcasts whilst driving help keep my mind off worries and such
A good book or films on my iPad whilst there etc.
Or plans to visit somewhere I really want to see.

Also letting myself leave and go home at any time if I feel the need to.

Went to a concert a few weeks back, lasted 30 seconds. Felt like good self care taking myself back home though, the concert wasn't right for me that day.

What kinds of things usually help you when anxious about this sort of thing?

 

[whiteraven]

Is it the first time travelling since getting cats? Or since having pain? Or is there something else that's new this time compared to travelling in the past?

No, although I typically don't take a suitcase, no matter where I go or for how long. I usually take an overnight bag.

What kinds of things usually help you when anxious about this sort of thing?

I don't listen to podcasts, but I do listen to music. That helps me on the drive, and I'm usually fine after that first day and night. It used to help to prepare all the stuff for the cats, so I knew I was doing my best for them. But that routine I have pretty much down pat, so all I can think about it is that I'll be gone.

I think the pain has been worse this year, and I maybe am worried about being gone so long and having to get from place to place. Maybe I need to remember I *can* leave if I need to (that's generally a no-no for me--to not follow through with something is a failure) OR I can relax and rest as needed?

Thanks, @Teasel. It helps to work it through with others!

 

[Teasel]

Maybe I need to remember I *can* leave if I need to (that's generally a no-no for me--to not follow through with something is a failure) OR I can relax and rest as needed?

Sounds spot on. It really helps me, I find going to things difficult now, and knowing I can leave takes a lot of pressure off

 

[whiteraven]

I was just thinking this could be because I have to go in to work tomorrow (well, not exactly...we're having a "picnic," but it's still an hour away), and I most decidedly DON'T want to go.

 

[parrotthepolly]

I was just thinking this could be because I have to go in to work tomorrow (well, not exactly...we're having a "picnic," but it's still an hour away), and I most decidedly DON'T want to go.

This seems to be causing some distress about traveling. Unless you find it boring then probably will be fun to go to both!

I can get pretty severe anxiety about much more when I'm travelling but you seem to have it all planned out. Your cats will definitely be fine. It's good to take a break and experience new things.

 

[whiteraven]

I can get pretty severe anxiety about much more when I'm travelling but you seem to have it all planned out. Your cats will definitely be fine. It's good to take a break and experience new things.

Yeah, I do. I really like to go, and I'm wondering if the anxiety or distress is because the work thing I have no control over, but the vacation I do (except for what might happen when I'm not here).

 

[parrotthepolly]

I meant the work picnic seems to have made you stress about the future trip. See how you feel after that day is over and the anxiety will be lessened.

 

[Friday]

But...the idea of that--taking an actual suitcase--has me in knots.

LMFAO

I’ve been there.

Maybe for the same reasons, maybe not.

I only travel with suitcases when I’m moving-house-moving, or it’s like a big-to-do extended family trip WITH kids… and even then? I still usually have/bring my backpack, that I can easily live out of for months. Suitcases? Mean “big deal” & “planning” …don’t forget anything… not “normal, fun, I can finally BREATHE, let’s go go go! If you don’t have it, we’ll replace on the road!”

I compartmentalize. Suitcases belong in one or two compartments, my backpack belongs in something like 17. IRL I’ll cheerfully take a suitcase into a restaurant, but I wouldn’t pack a suitcase to GO to a restaurant. Or a haircut. Or any umpteen gazillion places that don’t need a freaking suitcase. <narrows eyes>

Conversely, when I’m moving I’m living out of that suitcase (and my backpack) for weeks BEFORE moving. So it makes home feel wrong to not be surrounded by boxes. Or to be fending off pushy/nosy relatives as if something I’ve done a gazillion times needs invasion of Normandy level planning/confabs/cancelling/replanning. In either case? My suitcase is an oasis of calm refuge.

Shrug. So it makes my worlds collide, and I handle that soooooooo gracefully >.< Cough.

 

[whiteraven]

Suitcases? Mean “big deal” & “planning”

I think this is key! For me, a suitcase feels like a much bigger deal than a bag--like, I'll be staying a long time. I mean, I'd much rather take a bag than a suitcase, no matter how long I'm staying, and I can live out of one for a long time, but a suitcase is more "permanent," I think.