Tried

[Gadgie]

The only person I ever told was the berievement counsiller who I used to see after my late wife died.

He must have been used to hearing that, as he never responded in any way, he just told me that although I was going through a really bad time, things will improve over time.

He was right, as when I look back on it now, I wouldn't even consider it now, at that time I would have, i nadnthr pills in my hand, and a glass of water to take them.

It was a phone call, right at that moment that stopped me, it was one of my ex service cyber pals who lives in Canada.
That's one call, I'm glad I answered.......

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Please try to step up the appointment with your counselor.

Believe it or not, you will feel some relief once a responsible adult knows the truth. It's really hard to sit with such feeling all alone; telling even one safe responsive adult will take some of the weight off your shoulders. If the first adult you tell doesn't respond properly, tell another. Don't give up!

I've been in the hospital a number of times due to suicidal ideation. It's not bad. In fact, it can be strangely relieving once you realize you are in a safe environment.