Triggered after many years of not having any triggers

[SummerBlooms]

Hi, I’m new here so I hope I’ve found the appropriate place to post this.

Today I took my three year old to a nearby aquarium. I had been once before and had no problems. Today was different. I don’t think they considered crowd control and just continued letting people in. It was so packed my kid couldn’t see anything but adult butts (her words). When she told me she needed to go to the bathroom, I tried to walk us swiftly through the exhibits, but there was no room to take even two steps without running into another person. People would not let us through and I suddenly felt very trapped and very out of control.

I’m not proud of this, but I started using the stroller to gently knock into people to force them out of my way. That worked to a point and then I started yelling at people to move out of my way. I embarrassed my kid.

After we finally found a bathroom. I demanded to see the manager. I chewed him out and told him it was unsafe in the exhibits because they had packed so many people in.

As we left, my heart was RACING. In my mind I realized my anger over the situation was not on par with the circumstances. After ruminating over the situation for two more hours, it finally dawned on me that this is what I experienced with PTSD triggers in the past. It has been years since I have been triggered this way (I still have other PTSD symptoms tho).

I am just feeling a mix of anger and embarrassment over the whole thing. It’s also the first time my PTSD symptoms have impacted my daughter and the guilt is thick.

Anyone else have an anger trigger after a long period of no triggers? Is this normal?

 

[Innordinate]

Anyone else have an anger trigger after a long period of no triggers? Is this normal?

not exactly the same but i had about 3 years of relative calm, normal functioning- no triggers, very few symptoms etc.
and then last year got slammed with crap again.

is it normal? not sure but ive read a few different people on here that have had calm periods of time and then get triggered too.... and ptsd is cyclical so, makes sense.

 

[SummerBloom]

not exactly the same but i had about 3 years of relative calm, normal functioning- no triggers, very few symptoms etc.
and then last year got slammed with crap again.

is it normal? not sure but ive read a few different people on here that have had calm periods of time and then get triggered too.... and ptsd is cyclical so, makes sense.

Thanks for sharing. Did you ever figure out why it suddenly shifted for you? Was it increased stress or just a big trigger set it all off?

 

[Innordinate]

Did you ever figure out why it suddenly shifted for you?

An increase in stress from a job, increased anxiety to the point I gave up the job, slowly become depressed, kept trying and failing to overcome it myself and I think the exhaustion and ruminating and over thinking and all the feelings of being useless increased ptsd symptoms and made me super susceptible to triggers.

Triggers I thought I had dealt with and weren't really issues anymore.

Been up and down with symptoms and triggers since then.... but also waited way too long to get therapy when I first started getting depressed.
And definitely pushed myself too much after being triggered- basically thinking if i ignore it maybe it'll go away and ended up making myself worse.

 

[SummerBloom]

An increase in stress from a job, increased anxiety to the point I gave up the job, slowly become depressed, kept trying and failing to overcome it myself and I think the exhaustion and ruminating and over thinking and all the feelings of being useless increased ptsd symptoms and made me super susceptible to triggers.

Triggers I thought I had dealt with and weren't really issues anymore.

Been up and down with symptoms and triggers since then.... but also waited way too long to get therapy when I first started getting depressed.
And definitely pushed myself too much after being triggered- basically thinking if i ignore it maybe it'll go away and ended up making myself worse.

I have had an increase in stress this week, but overall the past few months have been the easiest of the last few years. I guess it caught me off guard to have a trigger. I convinced myself I had worked through crowd stuff. I guess I should try to keep an eye out for what I may be avoiding and see if there’s something I need to work through.
Thanks for the chat.

 

[Innordinate]

I convinced myself I had worked through crowd stuff. I guess I should try to keep an eye out for what I may be avoiding and see if there’s something I need to work through.
Thanks for the chat.

yup. pretty much the same thing i thought too.
and could be that you worked through it sufficiently for yourself but when you add the urgency of taking care of your 3yr old, meeting her needs- i think that adds an entire new level of stress/anxiety/panic.


and no prob

 

[SummerBloom]

yup. pretty much the same thing i thought too.
and could be that you worked through it sufficiently for yourself but when you add the urgency of taking care of your 3yr old, meeting her needs- i think that adds an entire new level of stress/anxiety/panic.


and no prob

That’s a good point. I never considered that. It was also a panic of trying to protect/meet my kids needs and feeling unable to.

 

[pam4him]

Does it happen to others? Is this normal? Absolutely! to both questions. Here's my story: I was robbed at gunpoint in 2006. It took about a month for the nightmares and flashbacks to stop, longer for me to stop looking over my shoulder all the time. Skip ahead to 2015. I park at work, hear a police siren and panic. I had to get out of there. I ended up at the park. There's a small pond with a pier and it was quiet. I ignored my phone for hours and some people got worried, but I finally answered and all was well. But it was 9 years later! So I've done the "why I am I triggering now?" As for embarrassing your daughter, that is her perception. You were trying to meet her needs and not getting much cooperation from the crowd. And, isn't it a parent's prerogative to embarrass the kids? LOL! Let go of the guilt, mom. It's a moment, not her whole life. The crowd may have gotten to you, but it's okay. You realized what happened and can reach into that coping tool box and be a little more prepared next time. Prayers for peace.

 

[Mattie]

I’m not sure if my chest racing and headaches plus dizziness.Ive been going back and forth to the hospital for them only to tell me it’s Gerd.but the shakiness shifts sometimes I’m having trouble sleeping some nights..I came across this article and hearing other peolyspeak on their battles with it..It sounds the same..Not to mention I do have high blood pressure and I do take medicine daily..

 

[hithere]

to answer your question... yes

 

[Deanna]

Hi, I’m new here so I hope I’ve found the appropriate place to post this.

Today I took my three year old to a nearby aquarium. I had been once before and had no problems. Today was different. I don’t think they considered crowd control and just continued letting people in. It was so packed my kid couldn’t see anything but adult butts (her words). When she told me she needed to go to the bathroom, I tried to walk us swiftly through the exhibits, but there was no room to take even two steps without running into another person. People would not let us through and I suddenly felt very trapped and very out of control.

I’m not proud of this, but I started using the stroller to gently knock into people to force them out of my way. That worked to a point and then I started yelling at people to move out of my way. I embarrassed my kid.

After we finally found a bathroom. I demanded to see the manager. I chewed him out and told him it was unsafe in the exhibits because they had packed so many people in.

As we left, my heart was RACING. In my mind I realized my anger over the situation was not on par with the circumstances. After ruminating over the situation for two more hours, it finally dawned on me that this is what I experienced with PTSD triggers in the past. It has been years since I have been triggered this way (I still have other PTSD symptoms tho).

I am just feeling a mix of anger and embarrassment over the whole thing. It’s also the first time my PTSD symptoms have impacted my daughter and the guilt is thick.

Anyone else have an anger trigger after a long period of no triggers? Is this normal?

I couldn't handle the situation either. The highly claustrophobic feeling, then you
had a fight and flight in for the manager. Too many people, period. I wouldn't have enjoyed it either.

Forgive yourself for getting loud. I've been there