Hi, I understand it can be confusing for you... It would be good to talk to your husband about the feelings you are experiencing now. If you feel something was upseting for you, it´s always good to talk about it, so the other person won´t repeat such behavior.
As for getting sexual with your partner in the night, it can be tricky. The border between being asleep and awake is sometimes blur. My husband often comes from work very late and I am already sleeping. He talks to me and hugs me and kisses my cheek and hair while I am fully or half asleep, and that´s ok to me. Sometimes I remember in the morning, sometimes I don´t. But this level of contact is pleasant to me while asleep. I personaly would not like him to touch me in certain areas of my body. He knows about it and respects that.
I wake up earlier in the morning so then it´s him who is half asleep. Once I thought he was already awake a started kissing him and touching him - but he somehow fell asleep again, although he even talked to me just a moment ago. I felt very awkward afterward, because I honestly thought he was awake. We talked about it. He didn´t mind it at all - he found it very pleasant to wake up like that, and he wouldn´t mind me doing it again. But I didn´t like that feeling, so we don´t do that.
If both partners enjoy something and they have agreed on certain level of intimacy while waking the other person up, there is nothing wrong with that. But if either party doesn´t feel comfortable with that, then you simply should not be engaging in such behaviour.
We both have PTSD and sex is an issue for us, so I can relate a lot... We talk about our triggers and respect the boundaries the other person needs to feel safe. Communication is the key to keeping things healthy between us. We don´t want to hurt each other while not being aware about that.
Talk to your husband. I hope he will understand and give you all the support you need. Sending hugs!
