Triggered By Cigarettes, Smoking...

[Deleted member 28403]

So, today, or yesterday, as it's 2 AM right now and I am a bit lost.

But here is the topic of this thread.

I was writing out a memory because I was feeling really anxious, and wrote out a bad memory of abuse in my trauma diary.

Link Removed

There, and a couple other times I was made to smoke cigarettes, or similar, like, even just wrapped paper, so I was breathing in burned paper. He wanted me to do that stuff...

And I've been feeling uncomfrotable when smoking comes into play, but haven't been realizing why.

And now I might be realizing why. I'm lost...

I'm triggered by quite a few thigns. I wasn't even realizing it was a trigger.

Anyone else?

 

[Friday]

I'm triggered by quite a few thigns. I wasn't even realizing it was a trigger.

Absolutely.

I've gotten to the place in my own life where finding a trigger or stressor is actually relaxing. Oh! Phew! That's why! Aaaaaaaand breathe :happy:

It doesn't make the trigger/stressor any easier to deal with, still the same :wtf: physical/emotional/mental reactions are there until I sort them, but having there be a reason I've gone all sideways? Even better, a known reason? Whether it's an anniversary, trigger/stressor, or increased stress not only explains why I'm all f*cked up at present but knowing the cause lets me do something about it. Predictable is preventable :D That's a huge advantage, and I'll use every kind of edge I can get!

 

[ladee]

For the most part, I am aware of my triggers. But occasional, when I am feeling 'lost', I understand something triggered me and I wasn't paying attention. Then I have to go back over the past few days to pinpoint what or who or whatever triggered me. But like Friday Jones said, I find it a good starting point. I am relieved to know I am not crazy, that something from my past was triggered.... so proud of you @Saelben... Just no words for how courageous you are....much respect for you.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@ladee
I can agree with that not realizing, took me a while tor ealize this was a trigger. I mean, till I had a serious anxiety session with flashbacks, I didn't have any idea that that was the specific trigger.

Thank you for the response :)

@FridayJones
Haha, I'm at a period where I measure how far I run before I stop and calm down when encountering a trigger in public :P

 

[Friday]

Haha, I'm at a period where I measure how far I run before I stop and calm down when encountering a trigger in public :p

<grin> That's in the dealing with them side of things, but still a great unit of measurement! :D How far/ how fast/ how safely... Used those ones for certain sure! & Each time the distance decreases, I'm more aware of my surroundings, etc.? That's a win! That's progress :)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@FridayJones
I bet the 100m dash record would be much better if PTSD people were competing :P The running speeds one can achieve while triggered are amazing :P

 

[ladee]

Oh @Saelben, my mind exploded with great ideas for a "PTSD Olympics" !!!! On the days my rage is in full swing, I could do the 'shot put' and win !!! Hope your day is a better one !!

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@ladee
For a laughm google shot put faces :P Those are really silly

 

[ladee]

Going to do that now... I need to see what I might look like... :wideeyed:

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Hahaha

 

[ladee]

In my case, the ball would land about a foot in front of me !!!! :roflmao:

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Well, now I have a pack of cigaretes, with one cigarette on it in my room. I guess to be more resilient