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Triggered by the idea of being intoxicated

emmazica

New Here
When I experienced a recent traumatic event, I was under the influence of drugs. Ever since then, even the idea of being intoxicated in any form is very triggering to me. It’s even spread to where I get triggered if anyone around me is under the influence as well. I hate the idea of feeling less than 100% in control and I get so scared of overdose, poison, and any other physical symptom that might come along with being drunk or high.

It’s getting to be disruptive of my every day. I ordered delivery today and when my food arrived it smelled strongly of weed. I figure my delivery driver must’ve been smoking in the car. Well, this triggered a panic attack because I thought that if I ate the food I would get high, if I touched the box that the food came in I would absorb the smoke through my skin and get high, as well as worrying about that individual feeling out of control.

The triggers just absolutely decimate my ability to think logically and the panic just overtakes everything
 
When I experienced a recent traumatic event, I was under the influence of drugs. Ever since then, even the idea of being intoxicated in any form is very triggering to me. It’s even spread to where I get triggered if anyone around me is under the influence as well. I hate the idea of feeling less than 100% in control and I get so scared of overdose, poison, and any other physical symptom that might come along with being drunk or high.

It’s getting to be disruptive of my every day. I ordered delivery today and when my food arrived it smelled strongly of weed. I figure my delivery driver must’ve been smoking in the car. Well, this triggered a panic attack because I thought that if I ate the food I would get high, if I touched the box that the food came in I would absorb the smoke through my skin and get high, as well as worrying about that individual feeling out of control.

The triggers just absolutely decimate my ability to think logically and the panic just overtakes everything

CBT is a classic treatment for panic attacks, it's not for everyone but it has helped millions. Tried it?
 
I get triggered if anyone around me is under the influence as well.
I have this for people on opioids. Which there are a ton of in my urban neighborhood. Mostly they are on fentanyl. I’m okay when I see them from the car but if I’m walking and they are near me my body floods with adrenaline and cortisol and I feel nauseous. I wish they could go to jail or the hospital and not be bent over in their drug yoga positions on the sidewalk. I wish I could be compassionate and not this way.
 
hello emmazca. welcome to the forum.
I hate the idea of feeling less than 100% in control
gentle empathy on the psychosomatic highs and the fears therein. i suffered the phenom for decades. i found my relief in addressing the control freakitis that needed the illusion of 100% control. emphasis on, "illusion." until the morons on this planet get wise and elect me as queen of the universe, i don't have 100% control over anything. i'll bet you dollars to wishes that not even the queen of the universe gets 100% control.

but that is me and every case is unique.

steadying support while you sort what ^it^ is in your case. welcome aboard.
 
I thought that if I ate the food I would get high, if I touched the box that the food came in I would absorb the smoke through my skin and get high, as well as worrying about that individual feeling out of control.

This sounds like an obsessive thought loop, you might benefit from therapies centered around exposure-response prevention. It's a kind of therapy for OCD that also works for the intrusions of PTSD if they're continual and irrational like this. The link mentioned goes into the particulars of obsessions vs. compulsions (though I wager that you probably were compelled to take a physical action in this instance, e.g. throw all the food out, wear gloves when touching it, etc.)

But you don't need to have compulsions in order to have obsessions - nor to benefit from ERP.

It's very much not possible to get high by touching marijuana, or items that are near marijuana smoke, but your brain keeps telling you that it is possible which sends you into a panic attack and reinforces itself when you start feeling strange/weird (due to anxiety - but "what if it's marijuana???" etc). ERP works by disengaging the recursion loop from your cognitive load. Usually by replacing it with a thought that is still true, but less distressing.
 
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