Triggered when 70 pound female dog allowed to hump housemate’s leg

[lanashively]

Hi forum members. I live with CPTSD, just freaked out at my older adult housemate for allowing his 70 pound female dog to hump his leg. This is a trigger for me, and this evening the housemate told me his late wife thought it was fine, and since the dog is female, he asked me what is the issue. I feel he is trying to engage me in a sexual conversation, and I feel manipulated, unsafe, and am definitely triggered.
Can anyone help me think this through?

 

[Sideways]

Here tis! The forum’s article on Dealing with Triggers

Aside from that - I work with dogs. It’s what I do professionally. And humping is so everyday among excited or hormonal dogs that it’s *sigh, shrug* whatever!

Humping is something a male dog does when it’s trying to impregnate a female dog in season. Sometimes.

Most of the time, dogs hump each other because they are excited. It’s a standard stress response that, in the colony I currently work with? We get in puppies as young as 10 weeks old. They haven’t got fully formed eyesight, but they’re already wandering around humping anything and everything that moves. Including the girls.

Most often, it’s no more sexual than raising their hackles.

Sometimes, having a better insight into something can help remove the ‘triggering’ component of it.

In terms of what to do after being triggered? All of the pscyhoeducation I’ve had to date has come up with the same response: Grounding Techniques. Bringing your brain back into the present, and reality, from the “past trauma” space that your amygdala just dragged you into.

Get to know the grounding techniques that work best for you is time really well spent, so that you can pull them out and use them quickly and effectively when needed. Practicing them when you’re relaxed, will help them work for you in emergencies.

 

[Charbella]

Do you know why it triggers you?

Personally my little female dog does it to my foot and it brings her such joy…I let her, but not when company is over. I’ve owned dogs my whole life and never had a dog that did it. Had one who did it to their stuff toy but never to people. I find it odd that my female dog does it but from what I can read it’s considered normal. She’s pretty high strung as @Sideways mentioned.

Have you considered leaving the room? Personally it bug me when people try to work around my triggers. To be fair I don’t like being treated like a bomb that might explode (even though I am). I hate when my therapist tries to change things that bother me, even though it might be what’s best.

You do realize your housemate could’ve just been genuinely curious. My mom had a female dog who did it and it bugged me and she asked why it bugged me. I didn’t know why so I decided to not let it bug me…now my little dog does it. Sideways comment makes sense as these are the two most high strung dogs I’ve been around.