General Triggers

[Mellavogue]

Hi PTSDMama... I am very new to this forum. I care for my partner who has had PTSD since early childhood. There are so many triggers for her (Lav, also in this forum) it is sometimes hard to keep up. Because she remained undiagnosed for so many years the recovery road has been extremely difficult. So please let me encourage you- I take my hat off to you for being such a wonderful and caring mother willing to do the hard work involved in helping your child. The world needs more parents like you!!! :tup:

 

[ProudWife99]

I keep praying for your family, PTSDMama. It saddens me to hear of difficult times, but I feel so much hope for you all as you explain that things have gotten better!

As far as triggers for us...crowds is the largest for my A. This weekend we went to the St. Patricks day parade in our city and there were so many people there I could see him trigger. He didn't want to leave (because he is stubborn) and instead was just mean to me. I would have rather left, but he felt he had something to prove. We made it through the day with little issue after that, other than the fact that I wasn't to leave his sight and he would not let go of me most of the time we were in the busiest parts.

My triggers are much different than this, however. Tone of voice, loud speaking in dark places, and anything that hints on the fact I may be broken, have a problem, or be no good. I can usually handle crowds, but I cannot handle someone I dont' know (and rarely someone I do know) grabbing on to my wrist or any other part of my body. Hugs are hard enough for me.

 

[PTSDMama]

Crowds are hard for us too! He becomes extremely agitated and lashes out. Loud noises, thinking he's no good or did something wrong...all can make for an extremely angry little boy. But of course the anger on the outside usually means he's hurting, worried, frustrated, scared, etc. on the inside.

Our therapist did a cool activity with him this week. We all made puppets with different faces (angry, sad, happy, etc.) and wrote what else those outside feelings could be on the inside of the puppet. To show him that sometimes when he's acting angry, it could mean that he is really feeling something else.

Thanks for sharing!

 

[LizardViolet]

That's a pretty advanced aspect of emotional understanding, when you learn that a person may have more or different emotions inside than are showing on the outside. Most kids don't figure that out until age 8 or later. It's important knowledge for your guy, though! Especially for self understanding!

 

[PTSDMama]

I agree, it is an advanced concept and an important one for him. He just thinks and thinks about things, and will ask us why or tell us he doesn't know why he gets so angry. So this was a great tool to try and show him that it's not just about anger.

 

[Eleanor]

Very cool - our L is only five, so she has trouble saying why she feels what she does - mostly, I think, she doesn't really know. She just knows she feels.... whatever. I may be slowing her down on this front a bit because I try NOT to say things like "something made me feel...." because my belief is that (except for physical manipulation) nothing "Makes" us feel anything. Circumstances provide occasions and contexts for feelings, but it is our internal states that are determinative. It probably makes it harder for L to put stuff together tho....

 

[PTSDMama]

We try and say "I feel sad right now" versus "that made me sad", for the same reason. The therapist also had him make 'stormy' sunglasses and 'sunshiny' sunglasses to show him the idea that he can take the stormy feelings off.

Or think about 'boo boo thoughts' being helped by 'bandage thoughts'. For example, "I'm too little to do ____" can have a bandage thought of "I may be little, but I can do lots of big things."

Those kinds of ideas work sometimes, and not others. :O_o:

 

[Pale Warrior]

An extremely simple one is to have him draw a sad face on one thumb and a smiley on the other. He can show you, even at a distance, how he is feeling. I used this with one very troubled lad and it was our "special signal" for years. He insited that I have the faces too, so we could communicate.

 

[Pale Warrior]

Sorry, I keep thinking of things, but have you been using "social stories" with him?

 

[PTSDMama]

Please don't apologize! I will take whatever anyone has to offer. In my opinion, we're all here for each other and this is such a great support.

Social stories - like describing a specific situation that he may have trouble with in story form? Yes, we have used those during calm moments and they have been helpful as a starting point for discussions. They come up later on too after he has had time to chew on the ideas.

 

[Pale Warrior]

Social stories are simple.

They have no more than six pages, generaly simple black and white cartoons. Each story address's one issue and gives the child a clear explanation as to how that situation (emotional conflict) can be resolved. Each page has a single line of text.

It is a very specific technique, you may want to talk to your therapist.

I have used them to very good effect. Kids love them as they are predictable and give a secure path forward,