trying2movefwd
Diamond Member
People outside taking at night:trigger
Trucks Revving : Trigger
Sound of footsteps :trigger
smell of alcohol :trigger
smell of zest soap:trigger
Sound of people fighting:trigger
cars driving by my window trigger
Getting too close :trigger
Jim Beam bottles : trigger
Heavy Metal: trigger
wearing a dress:trigger
sweating in a hot car:trigger
standing behind me trigger
pistols :trigger
porn, just the word :Trigger
bathing suits, me wearing one:trigger
WHY?!?!?! Stupid people! !!! Why did you abuse me for 10 years when I was just a kid?! Why did you let it happen? ! Why did you neglect me?!?! You did the opposite of protect me. At 5 I screamed, At 6 I blacked out, at 7 you wewwere in prison, at 8 I had exposure, at 9,10,11,14 I can't remember. ...and at 15 you gave me the scare of a lifetime. If at 13 things had been seconds sooner, I could have had freedom from that pain. But Im alive, I had just survived, repeated the cycle and abused sometimes (which seemed better than childhood) from 20 to 33. I got out. Im supposed to be free. But all this trauma put a grip on me. My whole life engulfed in fear. I can't live and I can't function until I shed some tears. I'm trying to give my kids the gift of much better years.
Trucks Revving : Trigger
Sound of footsteps :trigger
smell of alcohol :trigger
smell of zest soap:trigger
Sound of people fighting:trigger
cars driving by my window trigger
Getting too close :trigger
Jim Beam bottles : trigger
Heavy Metal: trigger
wearing a dress:trigger
sweating in a hot car:trigger
standing behind me trigger
pistols :trigger
porn, just the word :Trigger
bathing suits, me wearing one:trigger
WHY?!?!?! Stupid people! !!! Why did you abuse me for 10 years when I was just a kid?! Why did you let it happen? ! Why did you neglect me?!?! You did the opposite of protect me. At 5 I screamed, At 6 I blacked out, at 7 you wewwere in prison, at 8 I had exposure, at 9,10,11,14 I can't remember. ...and at 15 you gave me the scare of a lifetime. If at 13 things had been seconds sooner, I could have had freedom from that pain. But Im alive, I had just survived, repeated the cycle and abused sometimes (which seemed better than childhood) from 20 to 33. I got out. Im supposed to be free. But all this trauma put a grip on me. My whole life engulfed in fear. I can't live and I can't function until I shed some tears. I'm trying to give my kids the gift of much better years.
