RedwoodPaladin
New Here
Does anyone else struggle with discussing their own family with their friends and colleagues? Even questions about what they do or the nature of my relationship with my parent (whether we're close, etc.) I know it would probably appear odd if I just flat out didn't answer the question, or just changed topics, but I usually internally tense up a bit when people ask.
The other day my professor, who has turned into a mentor, said they wanted to meet my mother because she was a big reason I've been so successful; I get it, but it also feels weird when others feel so great about her, considering her abusive behavior that nobody knows about except for me. A lot of people see her as sweet and a good person, which I don't necessarily disagree with, but still. I know there's probably always going to be mixed emotions toward abusers, and that's something I'm coming to terms with. It also feels weird in my dating life when people I'm seeing will ask about my relationship with my family. I'm close, and for the most part everything seems wonderful, yet I'm always worried about what would happen if I came clean and they found out. I would have to eventually introduce them to my family, which seems awkward.
Anyways, tl;dr uncomfortable discussing family with friends and other people, especially abuser, and unsure of how to approach that without "tipping others off."
The other day my professor, who has turned into a mentor, said they wanted to meet my mother because she was a big reason I've been so successful; I get it, but it also feels weird when others feel so great about her, considering her abusive behavior that nobody knows about except for me. A lot of people see her as sweet and a good person, which I don't necessarily disagree with, but still. I know there's probably always going to be mixed emotions toward abusers, and that's something I'm coming to terms with. It also feels weird in my dating life when people I'm seeing will ask about my relationship with my family. I'm close, and for the most part everything seems wonderful, yet I'm always worried about what would happen if I came clean and they found out. I would have to eventually introduce them to my family, which seems awkward.
Anyways, tl;dr uncomfortable discussing family with friends and other people, especially abuser, and unsure of how to approach that without "tipping others off."