Trouble With My Relationship

[natashaortega]

I have a boyfriend of a long time now and lately everything has been going down hill since an inncedent happened and I started showing signs of PTSD. I got traumatized and a lot has changed. I've grown colder and I push him away. Instead of love for him, I'm starting to hate him. It's like I blame him for what happened to me. We get into arguements all the time and Ive started to not talk to him. We don't talk anymore sexually or I don't let him touch me or get too close to me. I do know is that I need help. I care for him deep down and I don't want us to split. Can someone help me?

 

[Chitoshi]

As someone who is currently struggling to identify when I'm angry, when I'm triggered, and when I'm upset about something other than something "stupid" or "unimportant" (aka maybe boyfriend forgot to wash a plate, big deal! not!) that my long-term boyfriend has done, I would say that the biggest thing is to be open and honest with him about how you're feeling about your trauma. The biggest thing that has helped my relationship (background: we've been dating about three and a half years now, my trauma happened four years ago, and I started counseling in January) is being open about how you're feeling all the time. I had a trigger on Wednesday this week at work and when I got home I burst into tears. My boyfriend had NO idea what was going on, and all I could tell him was that I was triggered and upset, and that's sometimes all that you need.

I would also suggest finding a therapist or someone who can help you work through these things. My therapist has been instrumental in my recovery so far. I don't feel like it's recovery yet, but I've only just started. :)

I can't guarantee this will work for you and your loved one, but it's what has worked for me so far, so I wanted to share. Hope this helps!

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, definitely get into therapy if you are not already doing so.