Trust

[Hope4Now]

My take on it is trusting others really comes down to a question of whether I trust myself. People are unpredictable. As trustworthy as they want to be, they are human and dealing with their own issues and aren't likely to behave as I'd like them to 100% of the time. But, if I can trust myself to be okay even when others change the game plan, I can relax. I am hypervigilant because I know I haven't gotten to that place of equanimity and that a small eddy can feel like a tidal wave. It's not so much about others, it's about me. That's as far as I've gotten, anyway.

Yes, this. You said this so well. I agree.

 

[atwistedfate]

Yes, Yes I do!

I don't completely trust woman in authority over me. I do trust women whom I'm fr...

Still don't think its a trust issue it's the same with me it was me that was the problem not trust

 

[atwistedfate]

Wouldn't it be nice if @atwistedfate was right and sharing details online someh...

Its simple you are you your problems are you your lack of whatever is you. The hard part is dealing with YOU

 

[scout86]

what you have isn't a trust issue it's a you issue

Maybe you could explain that a little more?

 

[atwistedfate]

Maybe you could explain that a little more?

I will after I get off of work I promise

 

[EveHarrington]

@atwistedfate

I'm not sure I can agree with this view of trust at all.

Why do you view trust as an external issue? Extrapolate-----if the issue is "you" and not trust, then trust issues are "not you" rather external.

Sorry, but I cannot believe this. If you can, all the more power to you.

I have trust issues. My trust issues are very much indeed a part of me and not some external entity.

Believing that it's a "you" (me) issue starts up the self blame train in my head, "it's me! I'm flawed! I'm bad! This is my fault!"

Maybe this is a semantics game? (Those never help me.)

I'm not even sure we define "trust" in the same way and I very much suspect not.


That is all.

 

[The Albatross]

"How do you trust?"

Hmmm. With hope and a cautious optimism combined with the fact based perception that I am not the same person that I was "then". Trust is a very risky proposition for me, yet I am much better now at recognizing high/low/moderate risk people and situations than I used to be.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am learning that I do not trust people with everything and I still have good friends not many but I trust them with some things and not with others. i hope that this makes sense.

I think trust and respect has to be earned and that requires consistency. It takes me a long time to really trust a person but I still keep my guard up and test the waters with small things and see what others do with them. Hope this makes sense.

I am in a process of change as well as my friends. So no trust is really a hard thing for me,

 

[Ronin]

I trust based on patterns of behavior.

As in I trust X people to do __ amount of things (or not do them) based on what I had a chance of witnessing them do/be like, in the past. Trust lacking context (and distrust lacking context, two sides of the same coin to me) is blind, and I don't like blind (dis) trust, I like having reasons behind things, however off the rocker those reasons may be.

It's when I have to change the style of which I trust different people that I throw inner shitfits and have difficulty. Don't like being wrong about details after I think I've worked something out & seeing the steps are right, but pointing elsewhere than I was chasing, basically. Trust issues with my reasoning are a win I could go without in my life.

So basically lot of my issues don't come down to other people & trust, in any variety; they come down to being a f*cking moron & needing a fix with myself.

 

[The Albatross]

For me Cashew it came down to the risk of hope v.s. hopelessness... and I still slug it out.

Can you give your self the levity you give others? Hard stretch for me but mostly I can. Failing or lack of success is a lesson too. Not the one we want. yet it is there for those who with to receive it. Autonomy rules... get some, I recommend it. People, well meaning or not have their own issues... yet autonomy... well never.

 

[Ronin]

That's interesting spin to take at it, Alba - a question I've been wondering for a while, what my value vs other value scaling is, when it comes to trust.

And I appreciate the suggestion. The answer would be yes, as to how, I don't have an idea, but it's quite a lot to let come & work at. ;) Thank you. :ninja::tup:

 

[The Albatross]

Edited so you might not like it anymore.