Trying Not to Lean too Hard

[Nevermore]

@Rosebud very sorry what I said about too many calls and advice asking made you cringe! Don’t worry, when I was younger I did plenty of both - but am at a different stage now....
As to the INFJ thing, that sounds so complicated!
in my world (which is pretty tiny) friendships are built on mutual respect and affection, and usually take quite a long time to develop to ones of mutual trust.
I wouldn’t want to be wooed by a friend, I like things to be real
But again, when I was younger I did kind of walk through the hallway of mirrors, not knowing what was real or not. Got hurt a lot. That’s prob why I’m so black and white now...
Anyway, sorry I made you cringe

Oops - forgot to say, when you wonder what the other woman gets out of it, I have to say in my situation I really didn’t think it had much to do with me! I liked her and didn’t want to hurt her, but didn’t really understand the intensity.

 

[Tinyflame]

@Nevermore thank you but no apology necessary, that has more to do with how I view myself, or how I grew up, because I learned apparently emotional neglect is the why/ developmentally missed out.

Idk why people do what they do, or want what they want, etc. I agree, mutual respect and affection and no bs is just the core. But I have zero energy or defenses for games and re-enactments I think I realized and stopped by about 30 any inklings of re-enactments, which I suppose was easy because I din't expect anyone to provide for me what I should provide for myself. I don't think age is the defining factor, I can think of many but one in particular fantastic friend who was over 100. But we were cut from the same cloth and could speak frankly and vulnerably and laugh a lot. I don't think it's age it's character and an affinity that you can't contrive, i.e. I suppose just understanding and valuing others as they are but knowing they won't hurt you, or seem less likely to. Which I guess sounds pretty selfish lol. But this is a ptsd forum, so I don't feel as ashamed to say it, some might relate. Of course, it should go both ways too.