Trying not to punish myself

[Bristol]

today has not been a good day, i have had a whole day of flashbacks and all the thoughts and feelings i dont want to have. I set myself a challenge this week that i wouldnt drink, which i have stuck to this is my second day, but without it all i can think about is cutting. I have done some exercise but the feeling is still there so im posting here next in the hope that getting it out will help, my next option is a shower which im going to do now then i am all out of distractions and alone for the night.

The grown up in me knows that i should be looking for these distractions but my hurt side cant understand why i am suddenly trying to stop her from doing it to herself, she cant see the problem if it makes her feel better. Whereas i am starting to get sick of having to hide the scars.

Any distraction ideas would be great, i know all the standard ones but maybe someone knows what will quiet everything down so i can salvage something like a peaceful evening

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Hold ice cubes. It stings bad, hurts, but doesnt hurt you.

DBT is a great long term tool!

Dead Link Removed

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Also, DBT "ACCEPTS" is great!

ACCEPTS

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

My part that gets relief from cutting likes cold, smooth rocks laid on her arms and face or to just hold them but they have to be cold. River rocks work best. A substitution could be ice or a cold cloth. I couldn't handle that cold, but that is one of her main distractions from cutting or scratching in the moments when the urges are the highest. More realistically she likes to sing, dance, play piano, or just listen to music. So maybe some music since it sounds like you're trying to quiet down for the night. And maybe either something warm or cold to put on.

When I was a kid and had the chickenpox, I was told to scratch a bear instead. That might help- not to cut it, but to scratch at it.

Or one other things I have heard of that I just thought of as I wrote that last one is to give that part/yourself a red (washable) marker or pen and let them use that to draw where they want to cut. I haven't tried that, but I have heard that it works.

And bravo to you for one setting a goal of no drinking, and two for working on finding so many distractions.

 

[Ronin]

Tearing paper / cloth can also be helpful.

 

[Bristol]

Thank you all for your tips :)

Managed to go to bed without self harming, feeling is back with this morning but will try and keep it at bay again until after work

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Great work @Bristol1485 ! Making it to bed without self-harming is great. One moment at a time and one distraction/skill at a time and you can make it until bedtime today, too. Best wishes.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I didn't review the list provided above via the link, but a distractor task that I tried that worked for me was to pick up a red marker and use it instead of a cutting implement. It helped relieve the tension inside of me and it served to make a point with me afterward.

I have found the better route to go is to do something positive for yourself - basic self-care and compassion. This was step one for me. I had to care for myself and then I had to acknowledge that I was caring for myself. There is a difference.

It takes time, but is something to keep in the back pocket of your mind while you're using distractor tasks to take care of yourself in the moment.

Hang in there and take care. VB

 

[Bristol]

@VioletButterfly thanks for the tip. I havent done so well tonight but tomorrows another day so ill start again tomorrow :)