I made a major decision today..to wind down our joint business which we both loved. I have no choice, I'm just not coping trying to handle it all on my own, and I can no longer make lame excuses for things not being done when they should be - I hate the thought of ruining our reputation- and it's burning me out trying to cope with the demands on my own.
Tonight I told him I'd decided to fold the business we started together because he had consistently let me down with promises to be committed to it. He didn't even care, just shrugged and said ok. A major, major decision for me that breaks my heart because it's on the verge of major success, but it's killing me handling all the responsibility on my own. I explained that, but no apology for his lack of commitment nor breach of promise only a few short weeks ago when he was on leave and calm.
He had stated whilst on leave (from his on call emergency services job) that he wanted this business to succeed, that he would be committed to it, that it was important to him....and I KNOW it is, in fact more important to him than it is to me, but I CAN'T COPE with the pressure anymore.The stress has gone on too long and I'm suffering physical symptoms that frighten me....
He says he doesn't know what he wants anymore. Well he did two weeks ago. But he's back to committing to the emergency services career that hurt him in the first place - no time for anything else despite the fact that the organisation makes it very clear that this is NOT a mainstream career.
I wish someone would give me an understanding hug. We built this business up from nothing as a loving, motivated and enthusiastic couple. It gave him so much kudos. But that doesn't seem to count for anything. Our dream that was finally coming to fruition, sabotaged by his total lack of respect for what we achieved. Scraping dead bodies off the streets seems to be more satisfying.
I did what I could. MY dreams are in shatters. Who cares? Not him. Not the man who was by my side until therapy started 10 monhs ago.
I honestly feel like I'm cracking up, this is a nightmare. I wish I didn't love him.
Tonight I told him I'd decided to fold the business we started together because he had consistently let me down with promises to be committed to it. He didn't even care, just shrugged and said ok. A major, major decision for me that breaks my heart because it's on the verge of major success, but it's killing me handling all the responsibility on my own. I explained that, but no apology for his lack of commitment nor breach of promise only a few short weeks ago when he was on leave and calm.
He had stated whilst on leave (from his on call emergency services job) that he wanted this business to succeed, that he would be committed to it, that it was important to him....and I KNOW it is, in fact more important to him than it is to me, but I CAN'T COPE with the pressure anymore.The stress has gone on too long and I'm suffering physical symptoms that frighten me....
He says he doesn't know what he wants anymore. Well he did two weeks ago. But he's back to committing to the emergency services career that hurt him in the first place - no time for anything else despite the fact that the organisation makes it very clear that this is NOT a mainstream career.
I wish someone would give me an understanding hug. We built this business up from nothing as a loving, motivated and enthusiastic couple. It gave him so much kudos. But that doesn't seem to count for anything. Our dream that was finally coming to fruition, sabotaged by his total lack of respect for what we achieved. Scraping dead bodies off the streets seems to be more satisfying.
I did what I could. MY dreams are in shatters. Who cares? Not him. Not the man who was by my side until therapy started 10 monhs ago.
I honestly feel like I'm cracking up, this is a nightmare. I wish I didn't love him.
