Do any of you have experience with a two-pronged approach to therapy?
I've been in therapy for about a year, with a break during summer - sessions every other week. But it seems to me I'm getting worse. In the first few sessions I could speak a little, then speach faded but I was able to nod or shake my head for answers. Now I just sit there, frozen. The therapist has specialized in trauma therapy and relational issues, but admits she has never been challenged like this. She thought she saw progress in that I didn't turn away from her as much. Told her (via email) that the swivel chair I sit in is often placed too far into the corner for me to turn further away than the window (if her chair is 12 o'clock, the window is 3ish, and the corner about 5-6). I have no doubt she is trying hard, but all approaches has back-fired. For the last two sessions she has said very little, but has continued knitting, which we found seemed to help me feel less under siege.
The thing is, I am kinda fed up with this approach. I make myself go there, sit in the chair, and then I seem to step back, leaving behind this little terrified, non-verbal part of to endure (I use the word "part" as I don't know how else to describe it).
Therapist has encouraged emails and is always full of positive compliments and encouragements - but somehow they seem to miss the mark. There seem to be a big difference between who/how I am in session, and who/how I am out of session/at home. I really don't care for her kind words, I want something else. Something that challenges me, educates me, helps me deal with this fractured sense of being. I have asked her to help me understand better, to present some theory or put words to how she experiences the sessions. But I'm not getting that. I'm tempted to think it's because she doesn't know what she's dealing with. But that's coming from a fierce defiant part of me, so not very nuanced. I have mentioned (again, email) this sense of different versions/parts. Some that helps me cope with practical tasks, and others that seem to be more about reactions. I remember reading about structural dissociation in this forum last winter and how it made sense to me, made me feel more relaxed. But I haven't specifically mentioned SD to the therapist.
Basically she thinks we need to take the time for me to learn to relax in session - and she does seem quite able to handle my reactions without frustration. With time, as I react and then slowly down-regulate (this I do "on my own" - whenever she has tried to guide me, it has back-fired big time) my nervous system should start to get better at it. I just don't se it happening.
So, back to my question. Has anyone tried to work on creating a sense of safety for the terrified part in session, while also working on educating and boosting the more intellectual parts?
I've been in therapy for about a year, with a break during summer - sessions every other week. But it seems to me I'm getting worse. In the first few sessions I could speak a little, then speach faded but I was able to nod or shake my head for answers. Now I just sit there, frozen. The therapist has specialized in trauma therapy and relational issues, but admits she has never been challenged like this. She thought she saw progress in that I didn't turn away from her as much. Told her (via email) that the swivel chair I sit in is often placed too far into the corner for me to turn further away than the window (if her chair is 12 o'clock, the window is 3ish, and the corner about 5-6). I have no doubt she is trying hard, but all approaches has back-fired. For the last two sessions she has said very little, but has continued knitting, which we found seemed to help me feel less under siege.
The thing is, I am kinda fed up with this approach. I make myself go there, sit in the chair, and then I seem to step back, leaving behind this little terrified, non-verbal part of to endure (I use the word "part" as I don't know how else to describe it).
Therapist has encouraged emails and is always full of positive compliments and encouragements - but somehow they seem to miss the mark. There seem to be a big difference between who/how I am in session, and who/how I am out of session/at home. I really don't care for her kind words, I want something else. Something that challenges me, educates me, helps me deal with this fractured sense of being. I have asked her to help me understand better, to present some theory or put words to how she experiences the sessions. But I'm not getting that. I'm tempted to think it's because she doesn't know what she's dealing with. But that's coming from a fierce defiant part of me, so not very nuanced. I have mentioned (again, email) this sense of different versions/parts. Some that helps me cope with practical tasks, and others that seem to be more about reactions. I remember reading about structural dissociation in this forum last winter and how it made sense to me, made me feel more relaxed. But I haven't specifically mentioned SD to the therapist.
Basically she thinks we need to take the time for me to learn to relax in session - and she does seem quite able to handle my reactions without frustration. With time, as I react and then slowly down-regulate (this I do "on my own" - whenever she has tried to guide me, it has back-fired big time) my nervous system should start to get better at it. I just don't se it happening.
So, back to my question. Has anyone tried to work on creating a sense of safety for the terrified part in session, while also working on educating and boosting the more intellectual parts?
