Uk suicide advice

[Suzetig]

Are you involved with domestic abuse organisations? They may be able to have someone support you at the DWP, mental health advocacy services can help with advocacy too. It's also worth talking to welfare rights services at your local social work office at least to work out how to present your case.

While people do get jailed for benefit fraud, there's a long process before you get to that point. Can you evidence that the relationship was abusive? A good advocacy service would argue this is just another form of coercive control where your ex continues to abuse you. I can hear how panicked you are but there are supports available to help.

Start with women's Aid and go from there.

 

[A little lost]

I have been in a similar situation to yourself when I ran away from my ex nearly 11 years ago. To be straight up, my first thought on reading what has happened to you was "omg, she hasn't ended up with *my ex's name" has she? ".
First,to deal with the way you are feeling, absolutely go to your GP straight away. This would also help create a bit of supporting evidence that you aren't just blagging the DWP and there are serious real issues behind the report and situation with your benefits.
Now comes the info for how you can get help with the whole situation. I'm about to give a few things I think may be places to help. Please , I don't want to overwhelm you with stuff , they are just contacts you may wish to try. I wish I could give you guarantees that they can definitely help, but unfortunately it's a case of finding out who can help with your specific situation.

Women's aid has a 24/7 helpline that can give you real advice on how to get through this and also deal with the fear of him coming back at you. Their number is free : 0800 027 1234
Their website : www.scottishwomensaid.org.uk

Citizen's advice - although you could call them, the best way with them is to go and see them. They will have someone sit with you and work through what is happening with regards to the DWP and be able to assist you with things we may not have thought of. Sometimes it's a good thing to have someone who isn't emotionally connected to logically go through the steps to sorting this out and supporting you. They would also be able to give advice on the next thing I suggest as an option.

Free legal advice - It may be possible for you to go and see a solicitor who would be able to advise on the legal steps you need to protect yourself from the legal nightmare you have been pushed into, and how to frame the case to the DWP. Some solicitors do a "first appointment is free" arrangement and you may qualify for legal aid if this becomes a court issue , which I'm not too sure it will as long as you can clearly outline the situation to the DWP. They also may be able to help with protecting yourself from further abuse from this man.

When I was getting court summons etc because my ex had claimed a load of benefits in my name, I went to my MP. They managed to intervene and effectively get my name taken out of the mix. My ex ended up in court on his own. I never found out what happened with that but my side of it was sorted.

See if you can get anyone to come with you , a friend or a representative from women's aid etc, when you go to your interview with the DWP. It will not only give you some support but they may be able to mention things that you might forget to say in the panic of being there. I absolutely know how terrifying that summons to go and explain yourself is and they threaten the court and sanctions etc to make sure you turn up. Very rarely does it get that far. I've had people report me for benefit fraud who have been abusers I've pissed off. When I went in to the interview, I just told them absolutely everything about the situation. I work on the premise of tell it all openly and honestly , even things they might not need to hear. They will know you aren't trying to hide anything or lie because just letting it pour out will let them see you aren't trying to make anything up just to get out of the situation. Tell them your state of mind then, and now. If you are on any antidepressants etc, take it with you so you can show them just how affected you are by this man AND by the benefits mess that is now happening. Tell them what he did to you and how you were under duress and fear. You may be surprised by how they respond. I know I was surprised, they went from being all judgemental to showing compassion and some understanding.
Please look after yourself, and I hope what I have said may help you, even if just a small amount.

 

[A little lost]

There's one other little thing I forgot to say. When I went into the interview and just spilled the whole story, I did it before they had even for around to asking their load of questions. I managed to answer everything they were going ask me (and more besides) , before they had even had a chance to ask. If it wasn't that flood of info didn't convince them that what I was saying was true, then I don't know what did! I hadn't anticipated what they were going to ask, I just said I needed to say something, and then it all fell out of my mouth.
Hopefully this approach might help you.

 

[Gadgie]

Sezetig you're right, I never realised that, as the only people I have seen for help and advice never had any personal experience of PTSD or anxiety.

Anonymous, I really hope you take the advice that has been given, as it sounds like you need professional help straight away, and don't wait until Monday, seek help now!

I will be thinking of you during this tough time, please get the help you need.

 

[anonymous]

practicing it in your head or something else?

Physically practicing, being right on the ledge with window wide open enough to jump out of, height that would definitely end it all for me.

Thanks for all your advice everyone, I managed to distract myself but for how long I don't know. I'll definitely phone for help / go to A&E / GP if I get really bad again

I just cried lots and lots yesterday and today

The thought of this interview in 5 days along with the feelings about my ex are unbearable

I jump from missing him so much it feels it will kill me to never see him again to being terrifed he will find me and kill me / pay someone else to kill me

Ex was my best friend for 13 years but recent years became very abusive

I miss his good side so much and wish it could have stayed good for us forever

I'm so sad, lonely and afraid

I can hardly get through the days without imagining something funny he'd say or do, without his support, his presence

Leaving seems to have completely ruined my life

I've still had no professional face to face therapy since leaving, I'm on a waiting list but I really need the NHS to see me very soon

It is bad enough missing my ex, being so lonely, having regular nightmares and crying all the time without having the worry of my benefits being stopped too

It is too much

 

[digger]

I'll definitely phone for help / go to A&E / GP if I get really bad again

I'm on a waiting list but I really need the NHS to see me very soon

I think making an appointment with your GP asap, before it gets really bad again, would probably be sensible. They may be able to refer you to the community mental health team for support while your waiting for therapy.

 

[Twilight]

Do you have any organization for those who experience domestic violence that you can get in touch with? They would definitely be sympathetic to your plight. i just got out of abusive relationship and was suicidal as well, so i can relate. Battered women's shelter was very understanding of the problem when i spoke to them.....

 

[Twilight]

Also, for myself, i realised his "good side" was all an illusion. He was a deceiver and a fake. He used his "good side" to manipualte me to do what he wanted. He never ever had any real "good" feelings for me. It was all control and manipulation. A faker and deceiver. Why did he threaten to kill me if he loved me? Because he never loved me. He just wanted to control me by being "nice" and when that didnt work, he resorted to death threats.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

There's maybe a crisis team in your area some areas have them some don't. They'll sometimes come to you in your home then make an assessment.

I'd present at A&E if you're feeling unsafe. Call NHS 24 if you feel like like you can't get out of the house to go there. Don't feel bad for doing this, this is serious life and death that's what the NHS is for this is why they get paid.

You've had some great advice here citizens advice is probably a great idea as is contacting your MP. There are still options. Try to remember you won't feel like this forever this is temporary although I know it doesn't feel like this now.

Suicide: Read This First

If you're feeling unsafe and your GP is closed at that time just call NHS 24 they arranged transport for me to get to my gp once it opened (they stayed on the phone with me until I felt a bit better then they called me back later)and my go got me into the ward. Hey I'm still here and I'm glad I took the plunge and asked for help. At the time I felt that all was hopeless but I'm in such a better place now.

 

[anonymous]

Have and am still in the process of getting legal advice about the interview, it's not looking promising as I don't have any actual evidence I was being abused. Even more worried tonight.

 

[A little lost]

Thinking about you. The 'like' was for support, not that I like the position you are in, if you see what I mean.
If there's any question that I might be able to try to help with but have forgotten to say please feel free to contact me. I was in a similar position as yourself. I can't promise I'll have the answers for you , but you never know.

 

[anonymous]

Thanks. Just, how exactly do you prove the abuse, when he's controlled all your finances online? Done everything, using your name?