Unable To Work

[Underdog]

after 2 years, I am still unable to work. The mere thought of work sends me over the edge with symptoms and I'm being told to not work and even volunteer less. So at what point does this become a disability? What are the criteria for claiming it as a disability and is it federal or state? I know nothing about disability in regards to PTSD, but I'd like to learn more as it may become a real option since it's already been 2 years. Also, what are your thoughts on taking disability, pros and cons, etc...

 

[The Albatross]

I personally was unable to work for about 3 years but it was coupled with a physical illness for me and it took longer. I personally knew well the theory of diminishing returns... and had situational depression. I just was not willing to accept that I wasn't every going to be what they said I was. I stuck with volunteering til it normalized and then built up from there... water aerobics instructor first 3 hours, then 6 hours, then 9 a week... then lifeguard and systematically worked my way back to 30... It took years. But I know that not everyone is in a situation financially to be able to do that.

I now have 7 day a week paid or unpaid commitments and they are still normalizing (over a year and a half now - Two in February). But I found I was less willing to accept my difficulty than I was to challenge it. I'm still challenging it though doubt I'll likely ever be able to pull a full 8 hour day/5-6 day a week full time job.

Security was a big issue for me, I had ample evidence in my history of the problems that go hand in hand with dependency. I fought like hell instead to have some income coming in because I really need some sense of independence for longer periods of decreased symptoms. But I know everybody is different. I am 54 now... and working part time still though 6 days a week. It was act or accept... act and expose myself to the situations using coping tools til they normalized OR accept it and sit in my home and have limited though "safer" contact with the world.

Will you share more about what you are being told Underdog?

 

[Underdog]

Basically, I have "pushed" all my life through various traumas and "pushed" to succeed in school, personal goals, etc... My very nature is to constantly "push" my boundaries, but sometimes our greatest strengths can also be our weaknesses. I'm basically in a frozen state and sometimes flight. I'm being taught to check in with myself constantly and if I feel anxiety rising to immediately stop and go relax as opposed to my typical "I got this, let's push through it" mentality. The pushing is what got me into this mess to begin with and now I'm basically learning how not to push myself. Hope that answers your question.

 

[Underdog]

It also didn't help that the last trauma was my job I quit. after I left, I was told they had to hire 10 people to replace me because no one could keep up. I was overworked to death and yet I kept pushing and nothing I did was good enough for the powers that be. There's more trauma that happened there, but it goes beyond the "pushing" concept.

 

[greenleaf]

Hi @Underdog. Do you see a psychiatrist (M.D.) at all? They might be able to tell you more on the disability issues as I think they would be the ones to put it through with the Social Security Administration.

I think you posted as I was writing this... am changing it...

I probably do too much too but it's hard to figure out how to take care of oneself in new ways sometimes. There are lots of websites. I googled "criteria for psychiatric disability" and found lots of stuff, such as:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC181194/

It sounds like you have worked a lot, so you would be in the SSDI not SSI I think. Your age if over 55 or under 55 affects things too.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

If you have a PTSD diagnosis and cannot work, then that is enough to be able to apply for SSDI. Approval is a whole 'nother can of worms and it varies greatly. Your best bet for approval is having a lot of medical documentation. Without documentation, they really have nothing to base your claim on and approval is much less likely. OH, wait.....and there is another requirement that you've worked so much in the last 10 years. If you were full time before you stopped working and worked a number of years, then you probably qualify.

Drawbacks? I honestly have none in my case. Disability isn't a life "sentence" as you can get off of it whenever you are ready to jump back into the working world. I am in the worst category with improvement not likely, but I'm damn well determined to get back to work. What I am actually capable of, that is up in the air at this point, but I'm definitely improving. Since I am at the bottom end of disability income, my medical is also fully paid for (no medicare copays, I just pay a few dollars for each prescription that I fill).

I know that SSDI has enabled me to focus on healing so that I can get better. The "pushing through" attitude isn't always the best. If you're really in a bad place, I know that this can just make someone even worse. I've seen a number of people say that their pride won't allow them to apply, but to my way of thinking, if your pride is what's keeping you from applying, then you don't need it! When I was approved there was less than zero chance of me being able to work anything in the near future. I was constantly in and out of the hospital and bills were piling up as I had no income. Pride? Yeah, this is an INSURANCE situation.....its like saying "I was in a car accident and it was the other uninsured guys fault, and even though I've been faithfully paying my car insurance for years, my pride won't let me make a claim" Yeah, crazy talk. You paid for it and now that you need it, I encourage you to put in an application. I think it could really help your healing in that it can lessen the financial burden and allow you to focus on healing without pushing yourself to work (because that's what we're supposed to be doing as "good Americans".)

 

[The Albatross]

If you can not "push past"... then it is a matter of thinking through the process and living with/under the disability... others here will be able to share. I'm not there yet but am glad others stepped up to share for you.

 

[Chondra]

Disability can be a difficult pill to swallow Underdog (unlike the super secret energy pill you have in your ring). That is probably the biggest con.

Solara says it very eloquently, no need for me to repeat :)

 

[greenleaf]

omg that's right, Underdog had a super secret energy pill. I just read that the show started in 1964. People used all sorts of uppers without social stigma before the counterculture stuff... That pill was apparently edited out of some showings later, must have sounded pretty suspicious after the events of the late 1960s... Well, a lot of us survive partly due to meds these days... (That's something that I feel more stigma for than ptsd, oddly enough.) I guess I've drifted away from the thread topic a bit...

 

[Zef]

Basically, I have "pushed" all my life through various traumas and "pushed" to succeed in school, personal goals, etc... My very nature is to constantly "push" my boundaries, but sometimes our greatest strengths can also be our weaknesses.

Mind if I use this, Underdog? Been trying unsuccessfully to get my new DBT t to understand what I mean when I say I have to find someway to slow myself down. She seems to be taking my comments as avoidance rather than 'help me slow myself down so I don't end up in the hospital again from pushing too hard.' To be young again and be able to just willpower my way through everything. . .sigh. :)

 

[Underdog]

LOL @greenleaf !!!! Let me process this information a bit and I will respond. But to answer a few questions I am 40 years old and have nearly always worked full time except when I was at the university. For me to suddenly not be working full time or taking a full load and then some of classes is a big gap in my historical employment record. I just know the longer I'm unemployed the worse it looks on my resume, and I wouldn't want disability staining it further. However, if it defers or lowers student loans and provides some money without stigma then I don't see the big deal, especially if I can withdraw when I've recovered enough to function fully again (fully being a relative term). I'm very fortunate to be in a situation where money isn't a huge concern and I count my blessings daily for that. It would just be nice to have these loans off my backside and some extra cash that doesn't rely on my husband giving me it.

 

[Underdog]

@Zef , go right ahead and use it! That's what we are all here, to help one another and to help articulate things we can't seem to find the words for ourselves.