Unemployed and scared- how do I raise above?

[SeekingAfrica]

Now I'm officially scared. I may or may not get a mini-payment in the next 2 days(barely anything, enough for 2 day's food maybe). If I don't get it, I have to get by on whatever is in my fridge for at least a full week, which is highly unlikely. Turns out the bad part about jobs you hate maybe that you might be bad at them. Both my usual jobs that make 95% of my income are temporarily on hold. And the job I was doing instead rejected me after 2 days (they have a criteria and apparently I wasn't doing good job on 2 files and my rating fell under the needed). I can dispute that, but it's highly unlikely much will change. And lets just say for various reasons loans and selling of anything aren't much of options. I also need to renew my meds in 8 days, so I need to get something paid by then 1000%. Everything is a mess and I did not think it can get like that so fast. From having several jobs I am suddenly entirely out of work temporarily, for completely random reasons(like a client having medical issues for example). If I am lucky enough 1 of these jobs should return at any moment, but they have payment schedule, so if it does return I'll get paid next Thursday.

There are errands I haven't done because I don't have the money for bus. But I thought I would have the money soon. Now it's starting to seem unlikely. I'm contemplating walking, at least for some of these. It will take an hour in each direction, but hey, I don't really have work right now. Good part- I do have some food in my fridge. I can still try and go to dance class, at least that will feel still normal, which my brain needs. Plus at least until 1st(or maybe even 5th), I don't have bills t worry about. I have my apartment and it's small but warm.

Bad parts: if I let myself be afraid it will make me incapable to change the situation. In the past that has happened a lot. But this isn't the past and I need to do better. Good parts: I do have a huge list of things to apply for and I am okay, right now. Right at this moment, this day, I am okay. I have food and a bed. I have skills and I have list of places to apply for. So maybe I just pray and apply and learn and apply and pray and keep applying and praying. And hoping to turn things around fast enough. Or at least to hang on for long enough to get out of this and get to a better place. Now, now I'm officially scared. But it's not game over, not yet. I am planning to take a hot bath to think about things(staring at the computer doesn't quite do the same). And then block out schedule in google calendar to decide when am I scrolling through possible places to apply, when am I working on creating my side business and when am I learning whatever I still need to learn, or do errands somehow. I don't know how. But hey, I'm still here, and I have to find a way to raise above this.

 

[HealingInProcess]

Now I'm officially scared. I may or may not get a mini-payment in the next 2 days(barely anything, enough for 2 day's food maybe). If I don't get it, I have to get by on whatever is in my fridge for at least a full week, which is highly unlikely. Turns out the bad part about jobs you hate maybe that you might be bad at them. Both my usual jobs that make 95% of my income are temporarily on hold. And the job I was doing instead rejected me after 2 days (they have a criteria and apparently I wasn't doing good job on 2 files and my rating fell under the needed). I can dispute that, but it's highly unlikely much will change. And lets just say for various reasons loans and selling of anything aren't much of options. I also need to renew my meds in 8 days, so I need to get something paid by then 1000%. Everything is a mess and I did not think it can get like that so fast. From having several jobs I am suddenly entirely out of work temporarily, for completely random reasons(like a client having medical issues for example). If I am lucky enough 1 of these jobs should return at any moment, but they have payment schedule, so if it does return I'll get paid next Thursday.

There are errands I haven't done because I don't have the money for bus. But I thought I would have the money soon. Now it's starting to seem unlikely. I'm contemplating walking, at least for some of these. It will take an hour in each direction, but hey, I don't really have work right now. Good part- I do have some food in my fridge. I can still try and go to dance class, at least that will feel still normal, which my brain needs. Plus at least until 1st(or maybe even 5th), I don't have bills t worry about. I have my apartment and it's small but warm.

Bad parts: if I let myself be afraid it will make me incapable to change the situation. In the past that has happened a lot. But this isn't the past and I need to do better. Good parts: I do have a huge list of things to apply for and I am okay, right now. Right at this moment, this day, I am okay. I have food and a bed. I have skills and I have list of places to apply for. So maybe I just pray and apply and learn and apply and pray and keep applying and praying. And hoping to turn things around fast enough. Or at least to hang on for long enough to get out of this and get to a better place. Now, now I'm officially scared. But it's not game over, not yet. I am planning to take a hot bath to think about things(staring at the computer doesn't quite do the same). And then block out schedule in google calendar to decide when am I scrolling through possible places to apply, when am I working on creating my side business and when am I learning whatever I still need to learn, or do errands somehow. I don't know how. But hey, I'm still here, and I have to find a way to raise above this.

It sounds like you're doing what you need to do. Honestly you're just in a tight spot right now but you're doing what you need to be doing. There's nothing more you can ask of yourself. I think you said you already have a list of places to apply to but here's another list of remote job employers: Work From Home 2018: The Top 100 Companies For Remote Jobs.

I pray this all works out for you but I do believe it will. I think for rent and stuff a lot of this you can push out to the 5th. In fact my guess is depending on your contracts you could push out even longer but would have to pay some penalties. If it gets in a crunch like that I would just pay the penalties and really try over these next 2-3 weeks to get a more diverse clientele. Like I said Appen is one (but it takes a few weeks to get onboard I believe). I would just get those applications in soon (but at a pace that you're comfortable with) so you can get the process started on their side of things because there can be interviewing, testing, training, etc. before you get hired (and then time before you get paid). This is not to freak you out about these things but inform you so you know to expect some time before you get paid.

I have always found that things worked out ultimately but some times were difficult for sure. The key here is to hang on. Also, I think even partial payments on things you owe will be a good faith sign if things get crunched.

There's nothing to blame yourself for when the unexpected happens. I think one thing to think about when you get your head above water is how you can get a job that pays you enough to provide an emergency fund. I think there actually are such jobs but most of them are customer support or sales and I don't know how you feel about that but they tend to pay pretty well.

 

[HealingInProcess]

Hey SA just checking in here. Hope all is well.

 

[LuckiLee]

Do you have a food bank in your area? They got J and I through a tough time recently. It sounds like you're doing these right things. I pray something comes through for you soon!! Hugs to you!