Unexpected Break In Therapy?

[LizBeth1]

Hi all,

Financial stuff has come up for me that forced me to ask my T for a reduced rate. I figured out in my budget that the session fees can't be higher than a certain amount in order for me to continue. I know I have put her in a hard spot. We have worked together for 2 years and I have consistently paid the full rate the entire time. I think the rate that I now need is not going to work for her. So I'm toying with some possibilities, such as taking a break for 6 months and then resuming with her. This may help me balance my finances.

Where we would be leaving off: Two years of a lot of work around parental emotional neglect, working on stabilization. I have definitely reached a new level of stable when it comes to the parent stuff. It feels like there is a new foundation under me that wasn't there before. What we still have to accomplish: EMDR around child sex abuse, which is still a highly charged area that can cause me to dissociate.

So have any of you taken a several month or a year break and then you went back to the same person? Part of me is leery, but other parts of me feel okay about it, maybe even weirdly liberated. I don't know if that's good or bad!!

Another option is to see her every other week instead of once a week. But I'm not sure if this is constructive or if we'd run into problems with that kind of schedule.

Would love to hear from anyone who has reduced their T frequency or taken a long break. What was it like? Do you feel like it was an okay experience?

Thanks!

 

[Chosen]

My T, whom I have seen for 3 semesters, is a university counselor. That means both session limits & a three month break from June-Sept. I started seeing my T Feb 2011 and saw him through May 2011. Then, June, July, and August, I didn't see him at all. I saw him Sept '11-May '12. Again, limited amount of sessions (about once every three weeks.)

My T and I get along great. We accomplish a lot. I love working with him. I wish that there wasn't a break, but it is doable. It's really hard, but I've gotten through it.
The relationship was fine when I started back up in September. If the relationship is built up, it will survive a break.

If I were you, though, I might try doing every other week before just jumping into taking a 6 month break. Every other week is what some T's offer, so it's not that different. As I said, I usually only get to see my T once every 3 weeks. If I could definitely see him every other week, it would be great.

Anyway, rambling post aside: breaks are difficult but doable. If it would work for you to do every other week for a while, I think that'd be your best option. I definitely think you can make it work for yourself and get through what you need.

 

[LizBeth1]

Thank you so much, Noah. That must have been tough but it sounds like you did it/are able to hang with it. Bravo.

I agree that seeing her every other week is starting to feel like a better idea than a total break, if she is willing. Hopefully 2 yrs of working together will make her more open to that instead of stopping altogether...

Thank you for your encouraging words!

 

[Chosen]

She should be fine with that. After all, the goal of therapy is for you to not need therapy...and going to every other week will increase your independence and help you to rely on yourself more. Probably will be tough at first, but you'll get through it!

 

[Hashi]

Personally I'd opt for every other week. Having a long break leads me into a kind of suspension. After I've got through the feeling of lack, I can go into a limbo of not having to work on anything (relief) but not making any progress either.

That doesn't mean it would be right for you, only you can know that.

What I'd suggest is that, whatever you decide, you ask your T to keep the other option open to you in case you change your mind.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I got to thinking that going the way I was going I was going to be in therapy the rest of my life. So I decided to quit and to learn how to think for myself. 9 yrs of therapy. It was a long time. So I learned how to think for myself. It was a good experience for me, but one I was ready for.

I journaled alot. You are lucky you have the forum to come to in your times of breaks. I wish I had the forum along time ago. I would have done alot better.

But when I needed therapy I would go back, but always to a new therapist. I am doing emdr now, and when that is over I will look for a new therapist. I have not yet found one I click with as good as the therapist I now have. I will hate to lose her. She is very empathetic and encouraging, things I need.

I wish you the best in what ever you choose.

 

[LizBeth1]

Thanks everyone - this is all so helpful. Yep - I can imagine inadvertently slagging off on the self-work during a long break, Hashi and that it would take a real commitment to stay disciplined as you were able to, Gizmo! Definitely something to consider... and having all options open is a really great point to go over with my T. Thank you!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I agree with trying to go every other week as the goal of therapy is to not need therapy! My therapist and I have done just that. When I started with her I had sessions almost every week. Over time they were spaced out more and more, and now I see her every 2 to 3 weeks. Yes, its rough at times, but I am in an adjustment period where I need to learn to do for myself rather than depend on her every week.

 

[DharmaGirl]

. Having a long break leads me into a kind of suspension.

Me too, not that I've had longer than 3 weeks. I see my T twice a week now. Am I needy or what? Anyway, I was thinking of cutting back too but all my support people scream, "nooooo". I was hospitilized for a week twice in July. Now I'm back to being suspisious of my T so back to the suspension of the trust building stuff.