Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

[Ronin]

What are some of y’all most unhealthy coping mechanisms?

Why asking: sort of want a bunch of things to look at that I’m not doing / back to the sense of control over my life, since I been reaching to fairly nuclear coping mechanisms since about last November, busier being Everything is fine :D than ever, and I’m at the stage love and cuddles kind of just piss me off / as that just gives me more people to protect/fail/be a f*ckup for, and just nah.

So figured I would at least look at things I am NOT doing, and maybe think of something healthier I did not yet think of, because been too focused on all the gaps & empty spaces. :banghead:

 

[grit]

Coping mechanism, logically speaking, imho, are double edged sword. What works this time may not work for another time. So most of the time, as you are doing this, I do take inventory and see what is up there.

I am the result of narcissistic parenting so by nature, I do react opposite of what is ailing/bothering me or being given to me. this has saved me from I think honestly doing any self harm. I feel it, and I do not do it. acting opposite of the feeling. The way my brain plays with this (in both positive and negative) is to say I am challenging myself but really I am just reacting opposite to my thoughts that I think will not result good outcome. It may work sometimes especially if I am being overwhelmed by others. it buys me time to change my time after if ooops I made a mistake.
so what is the problem?
Well doing that automatically without being mindful or conscious just comes out as f*cked up oppositional person! (-: and I end up getting the bad outcome I was trying to avoid in the first place and sometimes (many times) I do not get the do over!

One of the ways I counter this tendency is to take my time or do not change the situation as it is until I am sure or can healthfully predict a decent outcome that is mine not a reaction to someone or something. if I can of course and I have the time. No rush no impulsive.
I am getting better at stretching the gap between the feeling or a thought and action.

Edit: after I wrote this I am realizing perhaps I do not trust my feelings and thoughts because I feel they may be alien and belong to my mother....yap! just felt I am the one acting and following my mother's order still and must stop her from taking over...yeah no wonder I am struggling with Ptsd.

 

[Ronin]

One of the ways I counter this tendency is to take my time or do not change the situation as it is until I am sure or can healthfully predict a decent outcome that is mine not a reaction to someone or something.

This is kind of brilliant. Both a boundary and an aim.

 

[Freida]

My most destructive one? Taking off. I guess I think a change of scenery will make it better. If I can put myself into a different environment I won't have to remember. It's taken me ages to get it thru my head that even though my body is in a different place my brain isnt. Wherever I go....there I am...still struggling. I also had no idea the impact that had on my supporters..... They actually worried! Who knew? :laugh:

Right behind that is the fine art of distractions. If I just keep my brain occupied by something else it doesn't have to think bad things. That worked for a long time. Then it didnt. And it was time to start facing up to the demons it's still my go to....but at least I'm aware I do it.

 

[The Albatross]

Still anger for me. Mom's dentist got a little sample today. Got what was right for mom, at a cost.

 

[jaccat]

Getting controlling over food. I thought I was past it, but this last year proved different. It’s so easy to slip into without realising and then it spirals as the worse I feel the less I want to bother.

 

[Friday]

The fun stuff... :sneaky:
f*ck it.
Fight it.
Make it go FASTER

The most dangerous stuff is probably a tossup between my bouts of vigilantism, playing bait or deliberately looking for the right kind of trouble; and “That’s suicide!” // “Only if I don’t make it back!” wild years. Taking on more and more suicidally insane jobs with bigger and bigger risks in an effort to feel like I was doing something/anything that mattered, or an attempt to feel anything at all sometimes. The need to feel alive.

The upper limits of stupidity -contrary to popular belief, that would lob the thrill seeking and meaning-seeking and life affirming stunts into the ring- were mostly drug related. I say mostly, because some things that would at least make sense if they involved drugs/alcohol I was stone cold sober for. (Were you high? Nope. That just makes it worse.)

The most self destructive probably falls under the heading of “Why we shouldn’t date assholes.”

Sadly, I’m sure there’s more... (starving, striking off with just the clothes on my back IDFK how many times, sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong, various things I survived by luck more than skill)... but these are just off the top of my head.

 

[somerandomguy]

For me specifically that would be dissociating with the use of porn.

 

[Skywatcher]

I will obsessively rationalize why people will abandon me. I also fall into re-enactment and will isolate for a big chunk of time each day.

 

[siniang]

Unhealthy?

Work, work, work, and work some more. I'm just starting to realize that part of my workaholism is actually a coping mechanism for me. This includes meticulous planning of stuff, like travels. Basically what @Freida said: keep my brain occupied.

Skin picking. As in: I have actual skin picking "sessions".

Spending way too much time on the internet, this pre-dates the typical social media of these days (the likes of Facebook and co).

Spending money. I find myself more often than I should or can afford trying to "buy happiness".

I guess I used to have healthier coping mechanisms in the past (not that some of the above haven't been equally part of me at the same time), but lost them along the way.

 

[frogthroat]

Drinking and smoking weed (both of which I no longer do), isolating, cutting, spending entire weeks just working and watching tv, not taking care of myself properly

 

[ladee]

Using anger to help me feel ALIVE.
Isolating to the point of not being able to have a random conversation with someone as it's just too much work.
Ice Cream. Lots of Ice Cream.
Many more, these are the ones I'm presently using.