Vent - Disappointment

[Seychelle]

I read your thread about Anthony. I suspect it was on a day when I was struggling to say anything to anybody and grieving that I would never fully recover. I had several weeks when I felt like I was on the outside looking in (not just here - everywhere) and that I couldn't say anything anywhere - I lost all confidence.

Anyway, belatedly - that's great news for Anthony (like the other newbies on here, I hadn't realised it was such a recent improvement). And thank you to both him and you for running this forum. :occasion:

 

[2quilt]

I feel like I just walked into the middle of a movie; I had no idea that Anthony had posted something about improvement and having other interests than just running this forum (giggle). I also come back from several days away from the forum and just hit "today's posts" so I miss some posts.

I am very pleased that Anthony is getting some sunshine on his face instead of computer screen light. Anthony does the best job at running this forum! I am glad that he sees the need and wants to have personal fun time.

 

[Deleted member 93]

Nic, thanks for the pissed off hot flash LOL... And to think I was at a phase (for months) that I thought people I did not "really know" on line could get to me like that any more. You are spilling a perfect example of what was preached here for so goddamn long it was not funny. People are not parked here at all times to read every thread and to respond to every thread the poster deems is in a timely fashion.

But alas, being one who has spent money I did not have in donations, albeit no where Anthony's cash, the many many hours in maintenance when I edited, not responses only, again albeit not Anthony's amount... Would that be grounds for me to guilt trip other members??? Because I did not get attention I thought I deserved when I did well? I feel I can safely bet Anthony does not feel that way either but this is your own issue. Anthony is good at putting needy issues in perspective and I hope he helps you with it as many here have helped each other. I would expect him to be the one to help since you share a home.

I mean have you stepped back and looked at that? I see you have a few responses, but I did not make it past your initial post. I was so beyond offended. To make presumptions like that. Whether Anthony owns, you edit... You are all still members and all members here are equal whether here 12 hours or more a day modding like I used to do, or here every week or few like I am now ;)

Just seemed you made an assumption people did not care instead of they were living life and raising families, cooking meals, do laundry, shopping for groceries... Instead of being planted here inspecting each and every last posting.

YOU give him a pat on the back, I am sure it will mean more than a faceless cyber pat. He knows how we feel... He has PTSD too after all.

 

[Nicolette]

As a member veiled I therefore have the same right as other members to vent as I so wish.

It sounds to me like you are upset that you did not get recognition for all your hard work.....I'm sorry you feel like that.

I never said this was Anthony's issue, I said it was mine so I dont know why you're making a deal about that.

My interpretation is that you are taking out past resentment on me.

 

[Deleted member 93]

Yeah, that was so exactly what I said... Whew honey you sure did a fine job twisting what hurt my feelings I clearly said were (as in examples) into something so different. May I suggest read what I wrote and take what I said at face value. Nite nite.

 

[Moonshadow]

I have to agree with what Herc,and others said. I'm not even sure if I've ever visited the Success Stories section. I'm just not there, yet. Someday, I hope to have the optimism to visit, and possibly post there.

Not to knock your enthusiasm over his progress, I think it's wonderful that he has such a caring person to support him, but I would bet that a post from Anthony, regarding his progress would carry more weight.

I'm very grateful to Anthony, that he started this forum, and I'm sure there is much stress that comes with maintaining this site.

I realize that Anthony has his own life and his own issues. I don't expect him to give everybody one-on-one attention. He's never posted a word to me, and I'm fine with it. He should be out living his life, not holding the hand of every person who posts here. Just knowing that there are other members who can relate to our pain, is often support enough.

I'm sure it's good to take a break from the forum, when one is feeling strong, or just can't handle other people's issues. Good for him, that he's feeling strong. Most of us are not there, so, are not inclined to read that section, or be able to respond in a constructive way.

I apologize, if my words sound harsh, but I'm not having an easy go of it, at the moment, and am having some difficulty communicating my thoughts in a positive way.

 

[Moonshadow]

I would like to (meekly) point out that Veiled was up at 4am, reading and posting.
I hope you're coping alright, Veiled.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Treading lightly into this ssue I must put in my 2 cents worth.

This is an issue we have addressed before. I know, I was right in the middle of it, and I got in trouble for it too.

We ALL need to realize that there are times, when we vent, that we are extremely sensitive, and tend to say things we might not otherwise say.

I am glad some of you agree with my observation that the Success Story Section is not visited often. It should be and we would hope to see lots of success stories, but the truth is most of us just are not to that point.

Maybe this will remind us to check and see who IS having success and moving forward in their life.

 

[linasmom]

Funny, I'm actually a little surprised that this thread has garnered so much hmmm...defensiveness?

I took this thread simply as Nicolette ( a carer and member of this forum ) simply venting about her own hurt feelings. Just because she is a moderator and Anthony's girlfriend doesn't mean that she doesn't have feelings and connections with the people on this board as a fellow member.

I don't really see a need for anyone to defend themselves so vigorously. I also don't really see a need to jump on Nicolette for posting it, for those that have. No one is perfect and this thread (clearly marked VENT) shouldn't be used only as a pedestal for others to point out any of Nicolette's flaws and rubbing them in her face.

To me it seems that she was hurt because she feels that the person she loves deserved more support from this community. Plain and simple.

No need for shit tossing.


Best,
Rachel

 

[Moonshadow]

Well said, Rachel.

Nicolette, I apologize if my post sounded defensive. I am very happy that you and Anthony are enjoying a bit of serenity. Everybody deserves peace and happiness.

 

[anthony]

Veiled... I think you stepped over the mark to be perfectly honest. We have discussed specifically when a person wants to vent... include such in their title. Nicolette did that so as to avoid these exact argumentative aspects or attacks, misread information, etc. The exact idea of such previous discussions are so that others don't respond with their heavy opinions, but instead acknowledge what is a vent vs. what is open to interpretation. I, you and many others have had all these issues previously, hence why we heavily discussed the inclusion of "VENT" within a thread title if you are just venting frustration or the like... that way, none of this shit occurs.

Yes, I am doing really well nowadays. I feel guilty at times for not being here to help others.... I think that is more what Nicolette views from her end and doesn't agree with from my point of view about my commitment or viewpoint towards the forum. She was not with me when I started the forum, so she doesn't fully understand my own work aspect gone into here... though can estimate obviously from my own reactions at times.

All is well in my world though... yes.

 

[Nicolette]

I took this thread simply as Nicolette ( a carer and member of this forum ) simply venting about her own hurt feelings.

Exactly the correct interpretation thank you Rachel.

Just because she is a moderator and Anthony's girlfriend doesn't mean that she doesn't have feelings and connections with the people on this board as a fellow member.

Thank you....also true.

No one is perfect and this thread (clearly marked VENT) shouldn't be used only as a pedestal for others to point out any of Nicolette's flaws and rubbing them in her face.

Again thank you Rachel. From what has been written here I was starting to feel like I was not allowed to have the same freedom of speech as others. At least I have the courage to say how I feel and if you all remember part of the problem with PTSD is that trauma is internalised. I have had my fair share of s**t in my life too and I am probably lucky I don't have PTSD....thankfully I have the courage to share my feelings....right or wrong. Guess it depends on what side of the fence you sit to how things are interpreted.

To me it seems that she was hurt because she feels that the person she loves deserved more support from this community. Plain and simple.

You have hit the nail on the head! Exactly my point. I was putting it out there for the man I love with all my heart!

No need for shit tossing.

Thank you Rachel for your suppport....I appreciate it.