Very Frightened Please Help!

[Paula2]

Hi treehugger,

Thank you for your response, it was blunt but grounding :) .. I tend to panic a lot, just from nowhere and I guess I'm looking for affirmation that my panic is real! Which I guess is the opposite of what I am supposed to be doing and grounding myself!

Although, in honesty it has become a real life nightmare, I feel I have lost everything in such a short space of time. But I can get it back right?

In terms of diagnosis, I'm not interested in being labelled unless it's going to be useful!

I have started my day today with crystals sitting on the floor by the pool. :) I feel amazing, I hope you all have an amazing day xx

 

[Paula2]

Oooo and I stumbled across it, it was medical research into ptsd of some sort though I can't tell you the exact source.

The woman survived, she was 'allegedly' re-enacting a memory of when her brother had thrown her off an embankment. She also 'allegedly' purposely fractured her own arm during a flashback as this had also happened to her as a child.

All of this is new to me, I just want to know I am safe.

Xx

 

[Ronin]

it was medical research into ptsd of some sort though I can't tell you the exact source.

What sort of research is this? Last I knew, if it is legit science, it is likely to be cross referenced in other sources, even if outdated.

 

[Paula2]

I have no idea.. I just came across it... I will try and find it!

Although, I doubt very much that it is of much credibility. I was overreacting yesterday, that's all. Was a bad day.

 

[Ronin]

Sure thing, we all got these Paula, glad you got through it. :tup:;)

 

[MariaTPhD]

Hi all,

Thank you firstly for reading. I read this article this morning about a woman with PTSD who jump...

I agree with PoopyPTSD. Given your lack of memory, I would get an aide dog. If your landlord does not allow dogs, get your psychologist or psychiatrist to write a prescription for an aide dog (if you live in the U.S, the ADA protects this right.)

Also find a good therapist if you don't have one. Dissociative events associated with complete lapses of memory may indicate Dissociative Identity Disorder. You may need to find someone to live with while you are in therapy. It can be very dangerous.

God bless your healing.

 

[MariaTPhD]

Oooo and I stumbled across it, it was medical research into ptsd of some sort though I can't tell you the...

Typically people do not experience complete lapses of consciousness when they dissociate. When they do, clinicians often suspect Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly called Multiple Personality Disorder) and look for ways of improving identity integration. I have a friend who is doing her dissertation on the subject and my dissertation chair did her work in this area. It involves a lot of hard work and can take years. The key is to surround yourself with a lot of loving people and listen honestly to them. If you have a period of missing time, a loved one may help you reconstruct the time and this may give you more clues about what is happening during that time. Take this information to your therapist, as she or he may be able to guide you better through it.

On the up-side, the fact that you now know you are missing pieces of time is a sign you are entering the integration phase, if you have DID.

If you are blacking out during a dissociative event, what do you remember right before you blank out? This may be a clue to the triggers of your trauma. You can try to avoid these triggers, but I would STRONGLY recommend professional help.

God bless your healing.

 

[Paula2]

@maria thank you for your responses.

I have 2 pugs already, although I'm not sure they could be trained to be a ptsd dog?

I live in the uk. My family do not know I am suffering from ptsd. I wasn't having dissociative episodes before I started cbt approx 5 wks ago. The problem is that it has opened a can of worms from my childhood, when in fact the ptsd started a year ago, and the memories/ dread/ fear and flashbacks were all to do with an attack a few years earlier. It feels like to me that all the memories, emotions and fear all come at once and I get so overwhelmed that I just simply shut down? I want to tell my family but the problem is if I do it could cause a lot of destruction and pain. I can't stand the thought of them looking at me differently.

I returned yesterday from a week away in Spain, where I spent the time with my sister in law, who does know about the PTSD and the attack plus knows there is more that I just can't share at this present time. We worked on lots of grounding exercises such us yoga, meditation etc she bought me crystals which I find a great comfort, I sit on the floor and he them. Unfortunately as soon as I stepped off the plane in the uk, the feeling of dread returned. Last night I ended up on the crisis line again as I was planning on packing and driving off as far as I could get. In Spain, I didn't have any flashbacks or nightmares etc only twice was I found in the bathroom during the night of which I had gone there during my sleep.

I just want to pack my stuff and go back. I am useless here. I know it won't be long until I am as stresses as when I left for spain. I know that's not a good way to look at it but it feels like the reality

Thank you for your kind words. I hope to heal very soon x

 

[Powder]

Hi, Paula2,

I also moved away from the place where the trauma was. Just knowing I am far away from there, even though there is no such thing as "safe" for me anywhere, somehow makes telling myself that I'm safe for now much simpler.

Like you, I still have dissociative espisodes. I find it easier to convince myself that I am safer knowing the predator is too far away to hurt me or find me.

 

[MariaTPhD]

@Paula2 , I believe there is also an app that is being tested for PTSD. It is supposed to alert the user of a potential disruption. I think it is still in clinical trials though. Any dog can be used as a therapy dog, and they can be easily trained to monitor you if you lose your sense of where you are.

I don't envy you. Abuse within the family often brings up a lot for a lot of other people because you are likely not the only one in the family who has been exploited. It is a tough call.

God bless your healing!

 

[sun seeker]

Is it a flashback, or is it extreme dissociation? Scary, I agree.