Relationship Vet boyfriend broke up with me for the 3rd time.

[lola1969]

We had been dating for 5 years and he did telling from the very beginning that he has PTSD as well as being bipolar. He told me, take it or leave it. Well obviously I took it without hesitation because when his medicated he has a good heart. He was in the Army was in service for 8 years. He actually got married to his second wife and she was the one who noticed the changes in him. Unfortunately they divorced and he went on with his life and started dating someone else and they lived together when he was able to get his house from his VA benefits. They had a bad breakup and he lost his home. He’s been in psych wards by the handful due to his condition. Fast forward to the time I met him. Hen should me typical sighs of his PTSD: social withdrawal, curtains drawn, heavy drinking and occasional drug use. We hardly fought but it is withdrawal that bothered me the most. A fews ago, he stopped taking his meds because as he claims they make him fat and could also give him diabetes. Then right before Memorial Day his Uncle passed away from cancer. So there you go with the triggers. He said in his text that he wants to be alone and that I feel more for him than he does me and that I deserve more and to wish me well. He’s done this before. The last straw was to block me and my daughter on Facebook as well as blocking me on my phone. He had his mother due this as well and she obliged. The funny thing is he hasn’t blocked me on WhatsApp but I’m not sure if he just forgot. What ticks is I supported his Mother through the bad times especially when he was incarcerated but she enables him... I am livid, with that being said, I care for him because when he is on meds, he is the most gentle soul.

 

[Sweetpea76]

He may be wonderful on meds, but if he won't take them, it won't do any good.

That's what sucks about being a supporter. We have zero control. We can't force somebody to take their meds and get treatment, even if it's as obvious as the nose on their face that they do waaaaay better when they do. We can't help, we can't fix. We're just along for the ride, and sometimes that train derails... and sometimes it's time to get off at the next stop.

 

[lola1969]

He may be wonderful on meds, but if he won't take them, it won't do any good.

That's what sucks ab...

&sweetpea76 I agree! This condition is a beast. If does contact, what do I do?

 

[Sweetpea76]

You have to decide if you want to deal with this behavior... this may be as good as it gets. Can you be happy dealing with this for the rest of your life?

A lot of supporters stick around with the hopes that their partners will get better. That's not guaranteed. Are you going to be willing to stick around if this is as good as it will ever be? What about if it gets worse?

 

[lola1969]

@Sweetpea76 .... like he’s said before , he appreciates me because I understand him and not to take things personally. I know he trusts me because he’s told me things his own Mother doesn’t know. He’s also told me some confidential things about his Mother that only his psych knows and not even his ex wives.

 

[Sighs]

If nothing changes then nothing changes.

 

[OrangeJulius]

@lola1969 you keep talking about how he trusts you. This isn't about him. Its about you and what you ant and what you can handle and how much of that fits into what you can actually control (i.e. your own actions).

 

[LuckiLee]

Some of the things that worry me are:

Untreated PTSD
Not taking his meds
Drug and alcohol abuse
History of incarceration

These are huge red flags in my book. Good luck!

 

[EveHarrington]

But what do YOU want?

:hug:

 

[JM318]

We had been dating for 5 years and he did telling from the very beginning that he has PTSD as well as...

I’m in the same boat; this is our 4th breakup in 4 years. I just moved out on Saturday. My vet refuses help or meds, and recently tried convincing me he was never diagnosed, which is untrue. I feel for you and I know what you’re going through, but I’ve just realized I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. It’s tiring being in this side of things, so all I can do is pray and take care of myself. Reach out if you need me, I’m here. Hugs.