Vets And Christmas

[Agoke]

My TBI and PTSD-diagnosed vet crashes HARD every year around Christmas. His expressions, his walk, even his voice changes. Does anyone else experience this, and what is the best thing for me to do for him and myself?

 

[Agoke]

^^PS- I should add to this post that he can be "on" if he has to for other people. I know he is more comfortable with me so that might be why he feels he can let his guard down more, but I see that he is capable of acting ok in front of groups of people...

 

[Radati]

I have PTSD and I have a vet friend. He crashes pretty hard around Christmas, too. Honestly, I would let him take it at his pace and keep the holiday as chill as possible. MY PTSD friend explained that when they were deployed Christmas was just another day and it was hard. People kept dying around you and it just sucked. So I imagine that Christmas is it's own special stressor.

PERSONALLY? I can't stand all they hype and the holiday is a trigger so I don't even decorate anymore.

 

[Apen]

Christmas can bother non veterans with PTSD as well. My PTSD comes from childhood abuse amongst other things. Christmas sucks for me. I haven't managed to show in 4-5 days or get out of the house due to my depression.

I would say just be there for support. If you see he's getting stressed around people- make an excuse up to leave. Give him space or whatever it is he needs.

 

[Pifo]

Shower not show^^

 

[Omuj]

but I see that he is capable of acting ok in front of groups of people

That's all it is. Acting.

 

[Osil]

My vet told me that in Iraq, a lot of times the insurgents would ramp up IED attacks around our holidays. On top of the holiday stress, he has trauma anniversaries too. It sucks for us until the end of January.

 

[Hatezeh]

Don't forget to throw in survivor guilt. My vet feels like sh*t on Christmas Day because he is here to "celebrate" it and a lot of his buddies are not.

 

[Hutusus]

Don't forget to throw in survivor guilt. My vet feels like sh*t on Christmas Day because he is here to "celebrate" it...

Not to mention the guilt if you're trying to live life for them on any way or shape, and your own life is f*cked up. Better that they had made it and your sorry useless ass didn't.

 

[Efeva]

My suggestion is give him the support and space he needs. Personally, I hate everything this time of year. Due to my PTSD I haven't really celebrated for the past 5 or 6 years. This year I am trying hard to remain cheerful and spending time with the family. My depression amps up and feel life is shifty so it's all an act performed for others. My T and I are planning every minute including temperary time outs and exit strategies.

Side note - acting "on" for others is exhausting and for me this exhaustion will ramp up other symptoms and it can be hell for the next week or so.