Video or in person

[hithere]

I'll make this simple. My therapist did teletherapy to vets and their families before this pandemic....but I saw her in her small in-person practice. She gave me the option to do teletherapy, or continue in person. She was clear....people with dissociative disorders often need a more in-person physical approach to therapy to stay grounded, and that teletherapy can be ungrounding for some who struggle with or need to practice staying grounded. Plus, I saw therapy as an intrusion into my home. What if it got rough and then I'm left at home to cope and noone to cope with. I need the therapy room......to dump in and leave stuff there. I realized that there was no way my therapist was coming into my home via computer or otherwise......that wasn't going to happen.....I would have stopped therapy. She appreciated my honesty, and said "No problem, teletherapy isn't for everyone.....see you next week at x time/day. It was a simple fix. Do what feels right for you.

This explains so much my experience. Especially the part about intruding my home with the therapy process--that is a very real experience I had with tele-therapy. I also am dissociative, so that explains that strange feeling of not even feeling connected to the therapist.

 

[Freida]

I've done a couple rounds of tele therapy and honestly I'm not sure about it. It's nice to be able to do it in a place where I know I"m safe, comfy and don't have to drive home. But I think I'm dissociating more because T isn't actually in the room with me..

 

[whiteraven]

I've done a couple rounds of tele therapy and honestly I'm not sure about it.

I feel a little differently (ok, maybe feel is the wrong word; I am responding a little differently) after having done it several times. I talk more, but not about anything of substance. I mean, I talk about "safe" stuff. Better than not at all, I guess. And I'm not sure I'm going to want to go back to in-person on a regular basis. Truthfully, I think this turn is a bad one; I have noticed that being around people is way more work than it used to be. I just don't like it. Every once-in-a-while, yes, although even then I get very anxious and want to get home.

 

[Ireusa]

I've done a couple rounds of tele therapy and honestly I'm not sure about it. It's nice to be able to do it in a place where I know I"m safe, comfy and don't have to drive home. But I think I'm dissociating more because T isn't actually in the room with me..

Funny that you said that. As of last night I became aware that I am getting triggered and dissociating but, in a way, I see that as a triumph, because it means I am feeling safer in my van doing teletherapy, so my body/mind is not so hypervigilant with my surroundings as I am getting used to them (it's been 8 weeks for me).

One thing we've done though and it's working well for me is that we have upped the session minutes. From meeting for 55 minutes to 85 minutes now. It does help lots when you dissociate a lot and you have to spend a lot of time on grounding.
?

 

[whiteraven]

One thing we've done though and it's working well for me is that we have upped the session minutes. From meeting for 55 minutes to 85 minutes now. It does help lots when you dissociate a lot and you have to spend a lot of time on grounding.

That's great that you have found something that works. I wish I could connect for a little longer. I barely get 50min.

 

[Freida]

From meeting for 55 minutes to 85 minutes now. It does help lots when you dissociate a lot and you have to spend a lot of time on grounding.

I'm really lucky -- mine are 90 minutes sessions. T won't schedule emdr for less than that. My other t though stays to 50 minutes. :(

 

[TruthSeeker]

This explains so much my experience. Especially the part about intruding my home with the therapy process--that is a very real experience I had with tele-therapy. I also am dissociative, so that explains that strange feeling of not even feeling connected to the therapist.

Consider telling your therapist that teletherapy increases dissociation and ......and is counterproductive as your goal is to stay grounded. Now that it is warmer, you can meet outside somewhere if she's not seeing any clients if that will work for her.

I imagine that being able to do that does...

I have practiced visualization and also practice Shamanic journeying, both which require sufficient practice to develop visualization skills which then you can use for destressing, looking at problems from different points of view, putting problems away by putting problems in a visualized physical container for another time. I think creativity is the key to successfully doing this (it's your head right-there is no right or wrong), so if you aren't a great visualizer, you can create your own box or container with a lock or something to tie it closed tight ......mentally dump in the physical box, the stuff you need to hang on to....but need to let go of in the immediate moment, lock the box closed so you know it's safe and tight and leave it there.......until you are ready to look at it again. The key......you must not think about it....because when the box is locked....you have no access to it....and have to believe your problems are safe for now.....and that you are in control as to when you take them back out to look at them.

If this is a new concept, I suggest having a highly motivating diversion directly after you drop your problems off in the box to help prevent ruminating.

I'm really lucky -- mine are 90 minutes sessions. T won't schedule emdr for less than that. My other t though stays to 50 minutes. :(

I pay cash.....I stay past an hr, I pay more. I file my own out of network insurance. It's working and holds me accountable for the time I'm there and amount I spend. That seems to be working.

 

[whiteraven]

I'm really lucky -- mine are 90 minutes sessions. T won't schedule emdr for less than that. My other t though stays to 50 minutes. :(

What seriously annoys me about this is that they bill for an hour. If you're only seeing me for 50 min, then that's what I expect to see on the invoice/statement.

I think creativity is the key to successfully doing this

Well, I'm very creative and have a huge imagination.

The key......you must not think about it....because when the box is locked....you have no access to it....and have to believe your problems are safe for now.....and that you are in control as to when you take them back out to look at them.

But here...believing that things are safe - even locked away in an imaginary box - this is where I have trouble. My imagination doesn't extend in this direction.

 

[Chris-duck]

What seriously annoys me about this is that they bill for an hour. If you're only seeing me for 50 min, then that's what I expect to see on the invoice/statement

This is because you are paying for an hour of their time. Not an hour of therapy. Includes time for writing up notes etc.

 

[whiteraven]

This is because you are paying for an hour of their time. Not an hour of therapy. Includes time for writing up notes etc.

Except all he does between is pee. I understand it, but it still annoys me.

 

[TruthSeeker]

What seriously annoys me about this is that they bill for an hour. If you're only seeing me for 50 min, then that's what I expect to see on the invoice/statement.



Well, I'm very creative and have a huge imagination.



But here...believing that things are safe - even locked away in an imaginary box - this is where I have trouble. My imagination doesn't extend in this direction.

Your imagination can extend in this direction, if you need and really want it to if you are creative and have a good imagination......but you must want to work at it and be highly motivated to quell the internal stress by visualizing putting it (the problem away). Now if problems are what keep you busy, keep the drama going, or keep you feeling woeful.....maybe you won't so easily let go of those feelings which will be replaced by an increase in quiet, peace, more room to think about other things.......maybe you need those negative things and don't want to give them up?????

I started putting only one problem in my imaginary box at a time.....and I locked it up really tight.....and the more I practiced, it got easier......and I learned to go back to them, and look at them in a different light, and treat them differently. If I put them away too long......the box might make some noise......like it's time to take me out and deal with me.....but this is an interim solution-the box is not to become an endless void of personal issues never to be viewed or dealt with again.......and when I deal with the issues, often then they no longer need to be locked up in a box.....hidden from me...

Initially, you may only be able to keep your problems in the box for a short while which will give you some distance from them, but using creativity, courage, ingenuity, coupled with resolve and visualization, you can find ways to keep the problems in the box for a longer period of time.......it allows you distance between you and your issues, time for clarity, time to make a plan to deal with them.
This is how it works for me....but I'm sure you can find a creative way to manage your more pressing issues. Good luck, there.

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

I'm currently not seeing a therapist right now (although I do see my psychiatrist once every two months).

I've always worked with therapists face to face. So I don't know what it's like to talk with a therapist via video.

However, I'd feel much better seeing a therapist face to face.