Violence - Unfit For Duty From The Police

[bdharrel]

I was diagnosed with PTSD approximately three years ago. Lately, I have been increasingly agitated and violent. I have thoughts about being re-exposed to my traumatic situation, a shootout. I have been diagnosed as unfit for duty, but I have considered working for a private military contractor in the Middle East. I keep thinking that I can correct the whole situation if I were placed in the same situation. Am I going crazy?

 

[Nam]

Nope, not crazy. I tried doing the same thing. I don't recommend doing that however. It's like trying to conquer it all at the same time and then it'll be better type thinking. The recovery process is so much more complicated than that. You should want to go to the middle east for the right reasons. Are you sure they are the right reasons?

 

[anthony]

BD, the choice is yours really. In your current state, you would no doubt be fine for the middle east, because you need that anger and alertness. If you want to get better though, that is not recommended, because the only thing that is going to get you through in the Middle East is alcohol no doubt. You won't cope otherwise, regardless where you are in the world, you will still break, because your mind is unstable with uncontrolled PTSD. You can medicate to the hilt though, and that will get you by for a little while, but eventually your just going to come crashing down harder than present.

Healing PTSD takes a few years, no BS about it. Nobody can heal you from PTSD quickly. There are no quick fixes. You cannot be cured as such, as PTSD is a chemical imbalance within the brain, thus it cannot be undone, only learnt how to manage to enable you to live life again without all this BS that you are presently suffering.

 

[Deleted member 93]

I whole heartly agree with Anthony on this one. If not stable it is going to jack you up... You will need a supressant and deal with it uncontrolled. Right now I am just taking steps into unmedicated and I am barely keeping a grip knowing the proper skills to claim myself. I swear it is like trying to dress up a rabid dog... And I am getting bit hard! And it is no joke about how long this takes to get a grip on. I really thought I would have a strong hold and be just fine by now, but umm, not working out like I had hoped. It does take a lot of time and commitment.

He says the choice is yours. But I will say I do not think it would be a healthy choice. As once you have this, any stress you deal with after is just that much more shit you are going to have to sort out in therapy later.

 

[bdharrel]

So true

I know that you guys are right. I just need to chill and work through all of this. I guess that the reason want to go is for the education, not the violence.

 

[mouse]

Bdharrel
I would like to start by saying that I feel for you but if you would like any advice from one emergency service worker to another don't try to hide or deal with your PTSD by diving in to work especially one that requires you to be at on alert and ready to react, I know this as I have been trying to cope with my PTSD and continuing to work, if you can take some time, heal and then make a choice. But good luck whatever you chose and know that I am thinking of you, and that I wish you happiness and peace.

 

[cookie]

bd, you need to be good to yourself for a change!
cathy

 

[Terry]

My brother LEO, I kinda get that feeling too. Like if I could just get back to the way it was, shagging calls to get the cop high that I would be OK. Did it for quite a while, signed up for everything considered "Hazardous Duty" but here I am again. Whatever you decide my friend. From what I've seen here nobody judges anyone else. Good place to be for a change.

 

[anthony]

I know what your saying Terry... I was the same with the military. I had my hand up constantly for everything and anything. Operations would arise, people wouldn't want to leave their families and kids, I would have my hand up and gone. On operations... I would rather be out doing something, than sitting around twidling my thumbs. I understand exactly what your saying mate.