Relationship Violence Upon Waking

[Seagreen]

I hope you are ok. I have nearly hurt someone in my sleep recently too. Someone told me that there is a medication available to help if that is something he would consider? Maybe a visit to his doctor would be helpful.

 

[TIFFk]

@Seagreen I actually read your thread and the replies you received. Hopefully he will go to treatment and ask them about the medication for night terrors. Best of wishes to you :)

 

[Seagreen]

Thank you Tiff, best wishes to you and your partner too.

 

[Purplemunchkin]

I've had this sort of thing a few times, although thankfully not for a while now.

It is scary and horrible, and is one of those things you can't really talk to 'other' people about as they don't understand.

I found the same as you, shouting his name usually woke him up. And I completely agree with:

I don't know if there is anything you can really *do* about it, except maybe to be extra affectionate (if he can tolerate it) and "show" him that you are not afraid of him. I can't speak for all vets, but my vet seems to feel worthless or unlovable if he feels like he has hurt or scared me.

S would only be able to settle again if I cuddled him and reassured him.

He did get prescribed some strong anti-histamines to take at bedtime which have helped. He still has nightmares, and sometimes shouts, etc in his sleep but doesn't get physical with it.

Good luck!

 

[Sweetpea76]

My vet took some medication for his nightmares and had some pretty weird side effects from them. Hopefully they have better things now than they did a few years ago.

 

[TIFFk]

Well it seems it wasn't the push he needed to go get treatment instead it pushed him to ended ourvrelationship . The worst part is he ended it on thanksgiving over TEXT message ..,, he may just be feeling expectially down over the holiday . I'm in hopes that this will pass and we will be OK :( completely heartbroken

 

[TIFFk]

Wow I apologize for all my grammatical errors I'm quite shaken by all this

 

[Sweetpea76]

So sorry for this. :hug:

 

[Gary Brents]

I have experienced such episodes, myself and the impact of moving from night terrors to flashbacks, which causes violence, has been rare. I have seen episodes like this, for over the last 30 years or so. Like your boyfriend, I am pretty laid back and reserved. Most of the flashbacks I have are horrible, but normally I am able to just deal passively, with them.

One occasion, I ripped apart the new furniture, that was purchased a week earlier, and when I was able to finally get through the event and wake up, I found that I was in a fetal position, and all the furniture was broken into fire wood. Thankfully, I have not hurt anyone except for myself. I am not wishing to scare you. But therapy does help and I have seen episodes decrease in the severity, and frequency of the events decrease in intensity.

 

[chicken sammich]

Hi Tiff,
I am sending you a great big hug and chocolate. I posted a few minutes ago about the positives that have taken place, but I know my marine may isolate again and I am preparing myself to just take it as it comes. I feel comfortable now giving him real talk and speaking my mind, but he has to be open to it. I am learning to recognize his language and how to respond to it. I hope that your BF opens up to you and gets in front of a professional that can help him get on track. My marine does frequent the VA and is involved in groups and one on one therapy, which I know has a huge impact on his progress. I am simply the cheerleader, the icing on the cake. He has to make the decision of how he wants to live his life. My job is to encourage and support him, but I will not be walked all over or treated like sh*t and neither should you. I'm here if you want to talk.xoxo

 

[Gary Brents]

I am following up my previous post, because I want to share a resource that may be helpful to anyone who is suffering from PTSD and their significant other. My Therapist has often said that most PTSD sufferers, have a distorted sense of "Boundaries," which have to be altered to achieve some sense of normalcy in their lives and the expectations which are placed upon them; which need to be addressed. I have been told by many therapists, within my network of support, who have said that PTSD sufferers experience a change in their brain. Their brain basically becomes wired differently from normal, and active adults who have not experiences with significant traumas.

I think that as harsh as some of the suggested material seems, it has played a significant role in my interactions with others. I have had to sit through many very uncomfortable moments, and soak up the feelings, emotions, and anxiety which came with the interactions. With that said, the changes in me, have been huge, both in motivation and in relationships with the few people I have allowed in my circle of life.

There is a book Called (appropriately), "Boundaries." It is written by Dr. Henry Cloud And Dr. John Townsend. It is for both the Survivor/Victim, and the the people in their lives. It is pretty sobering, and is Christian based. Great Read,

I hope this helps, once you wrap your mind around some of the material (Which I often re-read and have problems grasping at times).