@Pencil, I think what you say is really interesting. You're making me think some more things about the safe place concept. I don't know if I'm going to be any good at explaining them but I'll try. I hope it's also not off topic.
@shimmerz please say if so.
This made me think of a book I read about Jungian approaches to trauma - The Inner World of Trauma/Archetypal Defences of the Personal Spirit by Donald Kalsched. Among other things, it had case histories of holocaust survivors and their ways of retreating to safety.
There was one called "The woman who lived on the moon". She had an entire life on the moon with the moon people. If I remember correctly, in her case she was unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality, so in that sense it was different. Having said that, I do know of a trauma survivor whose conscious safe place is on the moon where she can sit and look at Earth and know that anyone who can harm her is far away.
For me, this illustrates several things about the safe place concept. One is that it really can have a helpful role if you can manage it. Who doesn't want a break from the fear and turmoil? And yet, there's that thing of it being a retreat. If it's a retreat like in these two cases - for the first person, a psychosis, and for the second a deliberate withdrawal - then I think it's not much more than a form of dissociation. I'm not judging that. As an expert dissociater myself, I know the value that it can have to help prevent overwhelm. At the same time, it doesn't do much to move us forward. It can even work to keep us where we are. And as we've said, the comfort it offers is limited.
I think when the safe place has an element of helping us change our consciousness beyond the time we spend in the safe place, then it's truly healing.
@Pencil, I see your lovely architectural empire as having that possibility (perhaps already that actuality?) You say you suck at working with energies, but I wonder if these dreams/this image are a direct energetic connection to your psyche. Perhaps this is the way you can safely attune to your inner world without needing to do anything called "working with energies" that would be too challenging to the other parts of you? It's just a thought.
When I say helping us change our consciousness, a more general example of that would be meditation. Meditation could be seen as no more than a type of dissociation, except that something healing happens during it It doesn't just take us away for a while, it actually creates a change.
But... I know in my case I needed to do a lot of other work before I could consider using meditation to help change my consciousness. It simply wasn't a safe thing to do when I had little understanding and was still carrying so much unchecked and unprocessed trauma energy. So instead I did guided relaxation and for some time that was no more than a retreat. I valued the break but it was hard to come back to real life afterwards.
I feel that some of the problems people have with safe places is that we need other ways to protect ourselves before we can possibly be/feel safe enough to go to a safe place. It's back to front. A safe place is probably most helpful when we've done a significant amount of trauma work already.
I feel the classic safe place idea might be better called a soothing place. That might stop so much confusion, frustration or feeling of lack of ability (sometimes even shame, almost) if people struggle with it. And it would mean keeping focus on the need for a lot of powerful tools for safety and protection - rather than getting severely distressed then going off to the moon.
* steps down off soapbox *
