AmandaG321
New Here
I've been with my husband for a little over 3 years. We met while he was finishing up duty in the military and have since been married and have a daughter together. I have long suspected that he suffers from PTSD, though he rarely admits it and refuses to seek help.
He seems to blame everything on me - anytime that he act inappropriately, calls me names, gets aggressive, yells, breaks things, etc. he will say how something I said or did caused him to do that. He has threatened divorce too many times to count. He has had 3 different wedding rings since we've been married - one was lost at the gym and two he threw out the window of our car during arguments. He's taken my wedding ring and thrown it over our fence in the backyard never to be found again. That, according to him, was my fault. He, yet again, told me that I earned myself a divorce so I took my ring off. Perhaps I shouldn't call his bluff as it's almost like poking an angry bear with a stick, but after being threatened with divorce so many times I just said screw it...here's my ring then. On Mother's Day he told me I'm a horrible mother and threatened to take my daughter away from me. This was a result of some fight where I found a fake email address on his phone that he was using with various emails from some man, each titled a woman's name with attachments. I couldn't see the emails since he wasn't logged into that email account, but nevertheless it was quite alarming. Of course he got enraged because I had caught him in something weird, so his first story was an old army buddy wanted his girlfriend investigated. Some old pervert had her pictures. Riiiight. Then it switched to an old army buddy said he saw photos of me on some website so my husband was posing as some chick to try to get these pictures from that "pervert." He tried his best to push all blame on me accusing that I had sent photos of myself to other guys. It was laughable because I have never done that. Finally, the story changed to he was investigating me. He was worried that I was leaving him and he figured if I was leaving him there had to be another guy. So he asked a favor of an old army buddy to task his old phone and obtain all old photographs from that phone. Apparently he was then going to see which pictures had been sent. Again, this story makes no sense at all. But out of it, I was put through hell on Mother's Day, he broke my phone, called me every name in the book, etc. The next day, of course, he would tell me how sorry he is and how ashamed of his behavior he is. I don't buy these apologies anymore. I've heard them so many times.
Just last night he was cussing and complaining in the kitchen about how he can't eat any of the food we have. I hear him so I start mentioning if he can wait 20 minutes to eat I can make this or that. Then I say if he'd tell me items he can eat, when I shop for food I'll buy those items for him. He blew up. Enraged, cussing, yelling, slamming a frozen pizza on the counter and chunks of the box and frozen pizza go flying. I said he doesn't need to act crazy and he went ballistic. He came at me, grabbed my arm, asked me what I said, and kept grabbing at me as if he was going to really hurt me. He's never actually hit me, but he's threatened many times to beat me, or that I'll be drinking from a straw the rest of my life, or my problem is I need a good a$$ beating, etc. I don't know if this is PTSD, or if my husband is just an awful, abusive person.
His military experience was Special Forces and he was an interrogator. He went through a lot of psychological training and it's almost like he views me as the enemy. He can twist my words, my tone, my actions into me running an approach on him - I don't even know what an approach is. He seems to think I'm always manipulating him, trying to control him, and truly I'm not TRYING to. If that's how it seems to him it's not on purpose on my part.
Aside from the military training and deployments, he has had bad luck with women. He'll never admit he's screwed up, at least to a degree from these past women, but the ones I know about all cheated on him. He was married once before (a fling that ended up pregnant), they had a son, decided together to join the military. After his contract was signed and he was in basic training she served him with a divorce.
A girl he date prior to me, cheated on him while he was deployed, suddenly stopped taking his calls or returning emails. She had his car at the time so he had to maintain contact in order to make sure he got his car back once his deployment was complete.
So, to say the least, he has issues. I am nothing like these women he had in his past, yet according to him he's never treated another human being like he does me. Calling me names, making threats, etc. So in him mind, it's MY fault.
I do have sympathy for him, but at the same time, I'm SO fed up that he won't recognize he has an issue and go get help. I've been begging for 6 months now and he's not taken one step towards help.
He gets so angry at times that he'll threaten suicide and say I make him feel like that. I won't say I'm perfect, but I've had many other relationships and I have never driven someone to that point. And I've never been treated like this either.
The worst part to me is he'll have these outbursts around my daughter. Even more sad is she doesn't seem phased or even scared. Almost like she's so used to that it's no big deal.
I really just want to know - does this sound like PTSD? And how can I get him to get help?
He seems to blame everything on me - anytime that he act inappropriately, calls me names, gets aggressive, yells, breaks things, etc. he will say how something I said or did caused him to do that. He has threatened divorce too many times to count. He has had 3 different wedding rings since we've been married - one was lost at the gym and two he threw out the window of our car during arguments. He's taken my wedding ring and thrown it over our fence in the backyard never to be found again. That, according to him, was my fault. He, yet again, told me that I earned myself a divorce so I took my ring off. Perhaps I shouldn't call his bluff as it's almost like poking an angry bear with a stick, but after being threatened with divorce so many times I just said screw it...here's my ring then. On Mother's Day he told me I'm a horrible mother and threatened to take my daughter away from me. This was a result of some fight where I found a fake email address on his phone that he was using with various emails from some man, each titled a woman's name with attachments. I couldn't see the emails since he wasn't logged into that email account, but nevertheless it was quite alarming. Of course he got enraged because I had caught him in something weird, so his first story was an old army buddy wanted his girlfriend investigated. Some old pervert had her pictures. Riiiight. Then it switched to an old army buddy said he saw photos of me on some website so my husband was posing as some chick to try to get these pictures from that "pervert." He tried his best to push all blame on me accusing that I had sent photos of myself to other guys. It was laughable because I have never done that. Finally, the story changed to he was investigating me. He was worried that I was leaving him and he figured if I was leaving him there had to be another guy. So he asked a favor of an old army buddy to task his old phone and obtain all old photographs from that phone. Apparently he was then going to see which pictures had been sent. Again, this story makes no sense at all. But out of it, I was put through hell on Mother's Day, he broke my phone, called me every name in the book, etc. The next day, of course, he would tell me how sorry he is and how ashamed of his behavior he is. I don't buy these apologies anymore. I've heard them so many times.
Just last night he was cussing and complaining in the kitchen about how he can't eat any of the food we have. I hear him so I start mentioning if he can wait 20 minutes to eat I can make this or that. Then I say if he'd tell me items he can eat, when I shop for food I'll buy those items for him. He blew up. Enraged, cussing, yelling, slamming a frozen pizza on the counter and chunks of the box and frozen pizza go flying. I said he doesn't need to act crazy and he went ballistic. He came at me, grabbed my arm, asked me what I said, and kept grabbing at me as if he was going to really hurt me. He's never actually hit me, but he's threatened many times to beat me, or that I'll be drinking from a straw the rest of my life, or my problem is I need a good a$$ beating, etc. I don't know if this is PTSD, or if my husband is just an awful, abusive person.
His military experience was Special Forces and he was an interrogator. He went through a lot of psychological training and it's almost like he views me as the enemy. He can twist my words, my tone, my actions into me running an approach on him - I don't even know what an approach is. He seems to think I'm always manipulating him, trying to control him, and truly I'm not TRYING to. If that's how it seems to him it's not on purpose on my part.
Aside from the military training and deployments, he has had bad luck with women. He'll never admit he's screwed up, at least to a degree from these past women, but the ones I know about all cheated on him. He was married once before (a fling that ended up pregnant), they had a son, decided together to join the military. After his contract was signed and he was in basic training she served him with a divorce.
A girl he date prior to me, cheated on him while he was deployed, suddenly stopped taking his calls or returning emails. She had his car at the time so he had to maintain contact in order to make sure he got his car back once his deployment was complete.
So, to say the least, he has issues. I am nothing like these women he had in his past, yet according to him he's never treated another human being like he does me. Calling me names, making threats, etc. So in him mind, it's MY fault.
I do have sympathy for him, but at the same time, I'm SO fed up that he won't recognize he has an issue and go get help. I've been begging for 6 months now and he's not taken one step towards help.
He gets so angry at times that he'll threaten suicide and say I make him feel like that. I won't say I'm perfect, but I've had many other relationships and I have never driven someone to that point. And I've never been treated like this either.
The worst part to me is he'll have these outbursts around my daughter. Even more sad is she doesn't seem phased or even scared. Almost like she's so used to that it's no big deal.
I really just want to know - does this sound like PTSD? And how can I get him to get help?
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