The longing to have a father figure and a surrogate family that would nurture me and support me was all consuming when I was in my teens and young womanhood. It was a depth of wanting that would throw me into the pit of despair and feed into my feelings of being a throw-a-way person who did not fit in with anyone or anywhere. It hurt very deeply to be unconnected and unwanted. But, this was the path that was mine to walk. In time, I found a loving husband and his family embraced me wholeheartedly. Surprisingly, the longings did not all go away. I have come to realize that this longing is a scar that will never be filled in. It is just "there". It is a battle wound left behind from a childhood that lacked in the basic care of love, protection, and support emotionally and physically. All this said, I have eventually found some who have become nurturing friends that have stayed with me through the years. And I found a few that walked away from me or I, them. These were relationships that were not able to take the depth of closeness that I needed. And to be fair, as spoken in previous posts, I overloaded them with my neediness. I wanted to be with them as much as possible, giving them no space to recoup energy and interest in the relationship. They needed space to breathe. And maybe in your case, your friend does not want to hurt you by telling you that she was feeling like she had nothing more to give you or that she was feeling overwhelmed. I know I would simply back off rather than risk hurting someone or having a confrontation of some sort, even if having been told to express my feelings if things were getting too much. It is easier just to walk away. I am sorry for your hurt and confused feelings over the situation. Don't beat yourself up. Be grateful for the experience and keep walking forward. There are great friends, yet to be discovered, for you. All is not lost because one person needed to walk away. It may be more about their feelings of inadequacy, than yours.
