Wanting So Badly To Quit

[megnut]

I fantasize about suicide. I am so tired of struggling with my demons. They just wont leave me alone no matter how I work to get better, no matter how strong or brave I am. I am sick of this whole state of being. I have this image in my mind of a woman who has just gone through Hell and is lying broken and bleeding beside a cliff. There is also a path leading away from the cliff but it is full of thorns and rocks and rattlesnakes. You can see beautiful light at the end of the path, hundreds of miles away. Is it worth it to take the path? Right now I would rather ease myself over that nearby cliff because it would bring immediate relief.

 

[Nyx]

That is depression talking for you. Get help fast. I mean it. It took me a year and a few months of medication to get to the point where I am finally willing to get rid of all the expired medication I was keeping around the house 'just in case'. Get help. We are not a suicidal hotline and we are not trained to help in clinical cases, we can only support you while you get help. Please take care and try to take my word for it when I say all the pain is really worth it in the end. You will be free once you have done what needs to be done.