I think a one of the most common questions I've seen is when a woman is dating a veteran with military/combat ptsd, and they've hit "the wall" in their relationship. These women want to know "how can I help him".
I've only been dating my guy for about 9 months, but the best thing I've found to help him, is only help him if he asks.
If he asks me can I take him to his doctor appointment? I say sure! But he has to give me enough notice so I can work it into my schedule. If he asks, can I pick him up at the VA and take him back to his apartment? I say sure, but try and give me advance notice! If he needs me to pick up a prescription, no problem.
What I don't do: Cry over him, coddle him, worry about him, nag him, etc. These things only aggravate them. Hell, they would aggravate ME, if my boyfriend did these things to me! These are grown-up, intelligent men. Just because they have PTSD doesn't mean they are retarded or incapable of running their lives.
The more you let them have control over their own lives, the better off everyone will be. You have to love them and trust them and have faith in them, just like you expect them to have faith in you.
My boyfriend is way mentally healthier than me in many reqards due to all the therapy he as chosen to participate in. Man, has he been challenging me on my sh-t and making me take a good look at myself lately! It has been eye-opening. But he is an amazing man and I am grateful we are traveling this path together, for however long God wills it to be.
Anyway, I just thought I'd put some of this out there, for those of you who are new to dating military veterans. PS- I am referring to those who elect treatment for themselves. If they have chosen not to undergo treatment or therapy yet, the situation is different, and I think it may be best to detach yourself, until they elect therapy, especially if your relationship is turbulent and rocky.
Sincerely,
Dallas.
I've only been dating my guy for about 9 months, but the best thing I've found to help him, is only help him if he asks.
If he asks me can I take him to his doctor appointment? I say sure! But he has to give me enough notice so I can work it into my schedule. If he asks, can I pick him up at the VA and take him back to his apartment? I say sure, but try and give me advance notice! If he needs me to pick up a prescription, no problem.
What I don't do: Cry over him, coddle him, worry about him, nag him, etc. These things only aggravate them. Hell, they would aggravate ME, if my boyfriend did these things to me! These are grown-up, intelligent men. Just because they have PTSD doesn't mean they are retarded or incapable of running their lives.
The more you let them have control over their own lives, the better off everyone will be. You have to love them and trust them and have faith in them, just like you expect them to have faith in you.
My boyfriend is way mentally healthier than me in many reqards due to all the therapy he as chosen to participate in. Man, has he been challenging me on my sh-t and making me take a good look at myself lately! It has been eye-opening. But he is an amazing man and I am grateful we are traveling this path together, for however long God wills it to be.
Anyway, I just thought I'd put some of this out there, for those of you who are new to dating military veterans. PS- I am referring to those who elect treatment for themselves. If they have chosen not to undergo treatment or therapy yet, the situation is different, and I think it may be best to detach yourself, until they elect therapy, especially if your relationship is turbulent and rocky.
Sincerely,
Dallas.
