Sufferer War survivor

[Samurai718]

Hello everyone. I'm new here and suffer from PTSD/S. I am a war survivor and spousal physical and mental abuse survivor. Physically I'm surviving anyway. It's nice to be here with co-survivors. I hope I'm able to talk with people who suffer from the same hyper vigilance and skittish nature war has brought to me. Hopefully I'll be able to help others as well

 

[Teasel]

Hi Samurai, welcome

 

[Friday]

Welcome to the community!

Combat vet & NGO worker here, who also made a spectacularly bad choice in spouses. Divorced, now.

Are you a civilian survivor, or were you there professionally? (Military, NGO, journalism, land/sea/air transport, refugee trying to get through a bad situation from a worse one, etc.). People seem to forget that the overwhelming majority of people in countries at war aren’t the people fighting it, but the people trying to get the hell outta the way. Either way? Nice to meetcha.

 

[Riley Jones]

Welcome, Samurai718!

I'm so glad you found your way to the myptsd.com community. It's a place where individuals, like yourself, who suffer from PTSD and CPTSD can come together and support one another. I'm truly sorry to hear about the experiences you've endured as a war survivor and as someone who has faced spousal abuse. Please know that you're not alone in this journey, and we are here to provide a safe and understanding space for you to share your thoughts and emotions.

It's understandable that war can leave a lasting impact on our lives, leading to hyper vigilance and a skittish nature. Many members here have faced similar challenges and can truly empathize with what you're going through. Connecting with others who have experienced similar traumas can be incredibly healing and validating.

While the myptsd.com community is a fantastic place for peer support, I would also encourage you to seek professional help if you haven't already. Trauma-focused therapy can be immensely beneficial in helping you navigate the complexities of PTSD and CPTSD. Your mental health matters, and it's important to have a support network in place.

Within the myptsd.com community, you'll find various forums dedicated to different aspects of PTSD and CPTSD. Whether you're looking for specific discussions on hyper vigilance, anxiety, or any other related topics, you'll find a wealth of knowledge and understanding within these forums.

Once again, I want to extend a warm welcome to you, Samurai718. Feel free to reach out and share your experiences, listen to others, and offer your support. We're here for you every step of the way.

Take care,
Riley Jones

 

[arfie]

hello samurai. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. the odds are very high that you will find someone to talk to about your symptoms and how to manage them. a therapy network is as active as you make it and it work when you work it.

welcome aboard. hope you find healing companionship here. you are not alone. listening. . .

 

[abovedown]

Welcome to forum @Samurai718!

 

[Samurai718]

Welcome to the community!

Combat vet & NGO worker here, who also made a spectacularly bad choice in spouses. Divorced, now.

Are you a civilian survivor, or were you there professionally? (Military, NGO, journalism, land/sea/air transport, refugee trying to get through a bad situation from a worse one, etc.). People seem to forget that the overwhelming majority of people in countries at war aren’t the people fighting it, but the people trying to get the hell outta the way. Either way? Nice to meetcha.

I made my life in syria, then the war came and we couldn't get out because of the people who had control of the city. The atrocities that we saw were horrendous from all sides, we were stuck in the middle. I feel like when I speak to therapists, I get a blank look. They don't get it, as you mentioned. We were non combatants in a city full of violence

 

[Friday]

Trauma therapists whose focus is on refugees, even if you aren’t one, will be one of the best versed with the complex problems civilian survivors face. That particular niche is also hit up very strongly by journalists and other civilians there professionally, even if just for referrals, as refugee help is funded rather strongly… they can advertise, and have centers, etc., making them easy to find… but also have friends/colleagues who specialize in other areas of countries in conflict, outside of refugees.

 

[Weemie]

I feel like when I speak to therapists, I get a blank look.

The best experiences I've had with therapists, have been from those trained in forensic psychology. My therapist used to provide treatment to pedophiles and told me point blank that anything I could tell her as a victim? Was immediately overshadowed by the shit she had to put up with listening to unrepentant pedophiles while still holding compassion for them, and withholding judgment, and providing them the best treatment she could per her obligation.

I've had only one experience where the therapists around me were correctly trained to handle this specific type of history (which is not my own personal history but which was that of the other children in the program - I was there for other, related but different reasons) and they had their shit on lock, but I've never encountered it again outside of that program.

So it depends where you live, and how many of these guys you actually have access to. For me, I could only access that therapy as a child - as an adult, I was shit out of luck - until I started looking at forensic psychologists. Everyone else that I encountered really had no idea what to say to me, and often agreed with my own assessments of the situation, which was very harmful to my overall health, since I have since learned that my self-perspectives were not accurate.

I should have been offered more compassion than I received. My personal opinion is that people who hear this stuff without having experience usually experience some type of trauma response in the moment, and that results in them spouting harmful, irrational stuff because they can't correctly modulate their emotional reactions in the moment.

For me, I was indoctrinated into armed violence as a child, thus I was seen as a perpetrator and not a victim - while both things are undoubtedly true, I had difficulty accessing treatment from Western-trained therapists without a forensic background, because they immediately became outraged and emotional and confused when I spoke honestly about my experiences.

I try to forgive therapists for this (and especially friends, colleagues, acquaintances and others - who really have no expectation to hold an understanding for this type of atrocity), but at the same time, you need to be accessing resources that are properly trained - I refused to go into detail with a therapist until I knew that they were capable of handling it without losing emotional composure.

It took me 16 years after childhood to find a therapist capable of doing so. But it is absolutely possible.

 

[Samurai718]

The best experiences I've had with therapists, have been from those trained in forensic psychology. My therapist used to provide treatment to pedophiles and told me point blank that anything I could tell her as a victim? Was immediately overshadowed by the shit she had to put up with listening to unrepentant pedophiles while still holding compassion for them, and withholding judgment, and providing them the best treatment she could per her obligation.

I've had only one experience where the therapists around me were correctly trained to handle this specific type of history (which is not my own personal history but which was that of the other children in the program - I was there for other, related but different reasons) and they had their shit on lock, but I've never encountered it again outside of that program.

So it depends where you live, and how many of these guys you actually have access to. For me, I could only access that therapy as a child - as an adult, I was shit out of luck - until I started looking at forensic psychologists. Everyone else that I encountered really had no idea what to say to me, and often agreed with my own assessments of the situation, which was very harmful to my overall health, since I have since learned that my self-perspectives were not accurate.

I should have been offered more compassion than I received. My personal opinion is that people who hear this stuff without having experience usually experience some type of trauma response in the moment, and that results in them spouting harmful, irrational stuff because they can't correctly modulate their emotional reactions in the moment.

For me, I was indoctrinated into armed violence as a child, thus I was seen as a perpetrator and not a victim - while both things are undoubtedly true, I had difficulty accessing treatment from Western-trained therapists without a forensic background, because they immediately became outraged and emotional and confused when I spoke honestly about my experiences.

I try to forgive therapists for this (and especially friends, colleagues, acquaintances and others - who really have no expectation to hold an understanding for this type of atrocity), but at the same time, you need to be accessing resources that are properly trained - I refused to go into detail with a therapist until I knew that they were capable of handling it without losing emotional composure.

It took me 16 years after childhood to find a therapist capable of doing so. But it is absolutely possible.

This is amazing advice. Thank you so much for your point of view and I am going to take this into consideration. I hadn't looked at things from this perspective