I am both. I am a survivor (because I am still alive) and I am a victim (because I was victimized)- but neither negate the fact that I am a being. It is word play.
When I refer to my accidents, I often use the word survivor. When I speak of the things to which have been done to me without my consent, I use the word victim.
When I look at my circumstances specifically, I do see that I have a pattern in being a victim. It is not that I want to be victimized, since I do not want that by any means. However, there is a mindset, or a way of choosing, or _____ (fill in the blank with whatever words fit) in people who are "victims". Of all of the people in which I have known in my lifetime, I look back at my pattern and I realize that for the majority of my life I have chosen to engage in friendships/relationships with people that have added to the fact that I am a victim.
Even still, after years of therapy and working to better myself, to this day I follow this pattern. I do not want to. It is not something that you wake up in the morning and think, I would like to be victimized today, let me check my address book for the best available candidate. It is more like, I see the good in someone (usually because they are deceiving) and eventually the bad must show itself, and does. These are the people that I find that I have been drawn to.
Maybe it is the way in which we use the word victim. I am a victim. I was a victim. They both mean the same thing, the only difference is the use of tense. Maybe the 'I was a victim' is preferable because it indicates past tense instead of being in the present tense. Survivor then becomes the coined term in order to come to terms with the past victimization. It is empowering (for some) to claim their right to healing by using a different word based on how they perceive it to mean.
Me- I am a survivor. I am a victim. I am a fighter. I do not care what you label me with, because I know who I am, what I have been through, and what I am willing to do about it- which is to fight my way thought it.
