Relationship Was 'himself' Again While At Reserves, Then The Anger Returned...

[Foreva Faithful]

Does anyone else feel as if they are going crazy, in that there seems to be hope of working things out one day and the next it seems as if it is going to be impossible?! My husband spent a week at reserves and things were great for us. No upsetting phone conversations, no tears all week. The day he left I even showed him how I cleaned up "his room" when he came by the house before leaving for the week. I told him to think about how he would have this space to be alone if he moved back home after a week on orders. He seemed to ponder the idea. All week I did not mention coming home, just some comments here and there about the progress of his room. No upsetting answers.

All week he really seemed like himself again. The only time he would get slightly irritated was late in the evenings right before bed. I felt real progress. when he returned to town he went back to his parents, but still sounded like himself...until today. He was so angry out of no where, the slightest thing triggering him. He told me he is never coming home and soon will file for divorce (which he has been saying for 8 months now) His voice didn't even sound like him. At one point he said, "shut up and listen. I am the man, you are the woman, you listen when I talk. I am taking control." The husband I know would never speak to me like this.

He continued just to be so angry and his voice didn't even sound like him. If I brought up coming home, he kept saying to stop it. All day long he was so angry with me, saying it is me that makes him angry, nothing else. I don't even know what to ask at this point, I am just heartbroken and feel like I am grieving a loss of a husband. I feel like the person I talked to on the phone today had no resembelence to my husband. I just wish he would see the changes I have made for him and a place for him at home to be alone when he needs it. I am so faithful to him as a wife, and I feel like he is just giving up on our marriage, something he always said he would never do.

 

[wife of]

Go to the combat ptsd forum main page and watch the video . It outlines how forces training contributes to ptsd.

In my opinion...whilst a lot of ex forces relish the belonging of being reservists it actualy serves as a training top up for the ptsd.

He's just spent a week away ordering or being ordered about and is still in that zone which is where the "you do as I say"bs comes from.

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