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This wasn't you're fault and I believe therapy would really help. It sounds as though you're gay and coincidently you were abused. It might be an idea to contact a local LGBT organisation to speak to them about your sexual identity
Also I forgot to add, therapy can help you try to remember and piece together what happened in your childhood. I'm currently doing that in my own therapy when I was raped, because I can't remember everything myself and I think this is a normal response to trauma