Was I Wrong In This Situation??

[sun seeker]

Yes of course, I only wish there was more to do.

You know what? I still struggle with that - wishing I could help my mother overcome her issues which are blatantly obvious but about which she is in denial. I've given up trying, but I wasted a lot of time on it and got nowhere. I'm a lot older than you. Just saying that in case it can save you some time and grief.

She's not a mother, only 18, but she provides me with the validation and assurance I need on a constant basis to help keep my thoughts clear when my Mom does stuff like this.

That's wonderful. You really need balance when you are getting such a skewed reflection of yourself at home. I'd also really recommend looking for the best therapist you can find.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I hope you were able to get away from her completely and not deal with that anymore.

I did at 19 though now she's dying of cancer in hospice (a WHOLE another story).

I am glad that you got to lay one on her

Me too! ;)

Your mom needs serious help. Id guess a personality disorder, possibly BPD (borderline persoanlity disorder which I myself also have) due to the emotional deregulation but thats just a guess.

I agree that you should seek some therapy or even some counseling...maybe even at school? Somewhere where you can discuss your mom and home situation (or ex home situation) with a trained person.

 

[Neverthesame]

Your mother is not acting like a parent.

Or an adult for that matter.

Does she do this sort of shit to your brother?

 

[Sunny6]

Or an adult for that matter.

Does she do this sort of shit to your brother?

Yes, to my baby brother in the past she has slapped him hard in the arm and also spanks him. When really angry she yells at him to shut up and to stop crying. At one point she has dragged him on the floor.

I have another brother who is 14 years old, she has also hit him in the past, once using a hairbrush because he didn't listen to her when she told him to get off the computer. Right now I think he gets the worst of it especially verbally. When angry she says that he's a failure, our deceased father would be disappointed in him, that she wishes the government would take him away, etc. I'm trying my best to be there for him because when I was 14 I was in the same position of all of this but had no one to tell me these things weren't true.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

My heart goes out to you and I hope that somehow, someway you can get as far away from her as possible, also as soon as possible. I am sad and pissed that your mom put you through that. Your anger was healthy and hers was toxic.

 

[Neverthesame]

I'm sorry to hear that.

I hope you find a way out of that situation. In the mean time, keep breathing and being a good big sister.

I wish I had better advice.

 

[Sunny6]

I'm sorry to hear that.

I hope you find a way out of that situation. In the mean time, keep brea...

Thank you so much.

 

[Cavegirl]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I personally don't think you were "wrong". Maybe instead of flicking attitude you could have given her specific examples of when you've spent time with him and expressed how he's important to you. That said.... It doesn't sound like it'd have made a difference anyway to your mom. I get the feeling she was looking for a fight. Self defense is self defense. You shouldn't feel like a bad person for defending yourself.