So for people's understanding, my grandad abused my sisters and went to prison for it many years ago. He got out and it felt like everyone pretty much acted like nothing happened though we saw him only once a year at first. Eventually he got quite ill and when taking him to hospital nanny was trying to get out of the car when dad was moving it cause him mum and grandad all thought she'd got out the car when mum and grandad did cause she took ages cause she needed help when she said she didn't so nanny's arm got mangled and she broke her hip. So after the hospital they both came to live with me mum dad and my older sister. I wasn't comfortable with this but they couldn't live on their own, refused to go in a care home and no one else in the family would look after them. I just tried to act normal around grandad cause although I could do this when we visited him seeing him every day was another thing. Most of the time I was really anxious around him, worrying he'd do something but sometimes I'd purposely sit in the living room with him and try to be around him more I didn't fully understand why I was doing it other than feeling sick of feeling trapped in my own house. I felt almost obsessed with him and wanted to be around him even if I wasn't supposed to be sitting in the living room with him and watching TV upstairs instead if I wanted or sitting in the office upstairs which was like another living room cause he couldn't get upstairs. Recently I've seen people mentioning the fawn response and I wonder if that's what I was doing???