Childhood Was this sexual abuse?

[Confused2020]

I have a memory from my childhood where my old cousin made me touch his privates and put his privates on and in mine. I remember I had no idea what was happening and being very confused. I think it only happened once but I cant be sure. This memory just recently came back to me.
Is this sexual abuse if we were both kids ( I was probably 7 and he is two years older than me) and if it only happened once? Or was it just kids being kids?

 

[Friday]

Whether or not you were kids, or it only happening once, isn’t what defines sexual abuse. Kids abuse other kids (COCSA, child on child sexual assault/ Child on child sexual abuse). Whether once or a thousand times? Doesn’t change what it is. (Consider eating a cheeseburger. Did you really eat a cheeseburger, if you only ate 1? Or is there a specific number of times, or a specific number of burgers, that you have to eat before it counts as eating a cheeseburger?).

Nor does the fact that it was sexual make it abuse. The vast majority (read: nearly all) kids experiment sexually with each other. Most typically in 2 different Pre-puberty age groups; toddlers & early elementary. Toddlers via their own curiosity, elementary school kids vis shared curiosity / things they’ve learned about from other kids in school.

Yes. It could be sexual abuse.
Yes. It could be normal experimentation / kids being kids.
Yes. It could be 1 kid acting out their abuse + 1 kid experimenting

Regardless of whether it was sexual abuse or not? If it’s something that is causing problems in your life, or concerning you, it’s very much worth working with a therapist. People see therapists when absolutely nothing is wrong, they simply want to be a better person / the best version of themselves & hire an expert to help them get there... so whenever you’re asking yourself if something is “bad enough” to see a therapist? The answer is: it doesn’t have to be bad at all, much less bad enough.

You’ll also probably find this thread, & the links contained therein, helpful.
Sexual Assault - Are you wondering if you were raped? read this first.

 

[Alli D87]

when I was 7 or 8 my 3 years older sister molested me and made me do things to her I wont talk about. Was I just experimenting? no way! she was for sure but using me to get some sort of sexual gratification is abuse in my books.

I've been told by some that its just kids being kids and that makes me so angry. In my opinion children cannot give consent even if it's to another child.

I hope you can find some relief in counselling/therapy. I've been told I need to talk to my sister and get it out in the open... but I"m too scared even to this day where our relationship is good.

Good luck (hugs)

 

[Movingforward10]

It's utterly confusing when a memory resurfaces and we're trying to make sense of it. We want to not believe it because we spent years pushing that memory down to survive and get through. It's totally unsettling and we don't trust ourselves and our instincts or the memory.

I get the confusion. Been there.

You'll find your truth, but I think you already know it given the words you have used (he made me).

From @Movingforward10, a survivor of child on child sexual abuse whose memory of this came back in her 20's.

Are you seeing a therapist to talk this through?